A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i had an abortion because i got pregnant by someone i didnt want to have sex with in the first place (date rape) and i didnt want to raise the baby or have my family know that i was raped (they are very religious and would disown me if they knew i went on a date to begin with because i am only 17, they wont let me date til i move out of the house)... but now i feel worried that i am going to go to hell, i dont know what to do. i had the abortion about 2 mnths ago and all i can think of is going to hell now. i have prayed for forgiveness every night ever since i got raped. i am so scared i dont know what to do. i know that i am a sinner and that i am going to hell. i wish i had not had that abortion but i didnt know what else to do. they would have been so mad that i went on that date and they would never have believed that i was raped. they kicked my sister out of the house when she was 18 because she went on a date, and they dont talk to her anymore! thats how serious they are! its been a year since they kicked her out! i knew i shouldnt have gone on that date but i never planned to kiss him or anything we just went to a movie and then he ended up forcing me into sex. i am so so s oso scared how i do stop myself going to hell??? what do i do? i have made a huge huge mistake and i have no one to turn to and i know that i will not be forgiven. i havent slept in a ges cuz all i can think of is my destiny. i need God to forgive me but i know that he wont because i didn't want the baby and there is no forgiveness for people like me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Honey, you are not going to hell because you had an abortion. No one goes to hell because they have an abortion. Whether abortion is right or wrong is no longer the issue. I would suggest in love that you find a Bible, look up forgiveness. "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved". You are still a part of "everyone", and it is not too late. Abortion or no, God is desperate to know you and to love you. I promise. For years after my abortion, I thought like you did, but it is quite simply not true. God forgives sins. It would probably take longer for you to forgive yourself. You need not continually ask for forgiveness; He has forgiven you already!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): Your religion is wrong.
I'm sorry to be that harsh about, it and I hope you won't ignore the rest of what I have to say because of that first sentence.
Abortion was not really an issue until modern times. In biblical times, the only thing close to that issue was the decision whether or not to leave (an already born baby) in the wild to die because it was not wanted. Doing that is clearly murder, and it makes sense that it's viewed as morally wrong.
But when abortions became a medical possibility (and it became cleaner, safer, legal, etc) in modern times, it opened a can of worms. A lot of religious leaders came out against abortions. Whether they will admit it or not, the fact that abortions potentially help women have sex without consequences bothers many of them. They used the rationale that the bible preached against infanticide to condemn abortion, even though it's not the same thing at all.
I'm not saying that there's nothing wrong with abortion. Many people still think it's murder, and the issue is not settled. People can believe whatever they want. I am just saying that Christianity's basis for condemning all abortions, regardless of the circumstances, is made of some pretty shaky logic. The bible wasn't talking about the specifics of early & late-term pregnancies, etc.
Jesus just didn't want people leaving live babies on hillsides to be eaten by wolves. Jesus didn't say that rape victims should be forced to carry & birth & raise babies even though they are in no position to be able to do this.
Anyone who tells you differently is still just a regular fallible human being. He/She is trying to interpret God's word & wishes, just like you are. Being raped was not your fault. Afterwards, you made the best decision you could make at the time with the knowledge & experience you had to work with. You didn't wish bad things on anyone. God will understand that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): Hello sweetie, I can totally understand your position and i understand the moral conflict you are experiencing. Rape is the most dreadful thing that can happen to you, it wasn't your fault and you will not be punished for it. I can understand how hard it would have been for you to have an abortion whilst still trying to cope with the emotional and physical pain of rape. The rules of your religion were written hundreds of thousands of years again and need to be adapted for modern life they are not entirely relevent to modern day. You will not go to hell, you were abused and you are not to blame you couldn't keep the baby which is understandable you were hurting and would have struggled to love it as your own. Stay Strong
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A
male
reader, jamey_37  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Hey.
For starters, I think your parents are WAY too strict. I think that if they really loved you, they'd be the first to forgive you. But seeing what they did to your sis... what jerks.
Ok. 2nd off... on the subject of religion... I'm just going to come out and say this straight off. I am LDS (a Mormon). I know we're hated alot in different places but please hear me out. We believe that there is forgiveness out there for you. You did committ a terrible, terrible sin.. the very worst in fact. But that doesn't mean that you are going to hell.
The very first part of the repentance process is feeling remorse, which you obviously do. You need to forgive yourself, and this dirt-bag guy. And if you feel comfortable with doing it, you need to tell your parents..
You did nothing wrong except go on a date. That's it. Being raped isn't a sin. You're a victim, you could go to the cops for that if you want. But my religion let's us date at 16 (and people say we have strict rules). I feel sorry for what your parents' rules are.
Mostly though.. I'd like to repeat this. I cannot tell you how important it is for you to forgive yourself most of all. You can't let this eat away at you forever. Keep praying to God. I know he will answer your prayers. I know he forgives all those who come unto him with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Meaning you're truly sorry, and you don't want to do this again.
I like what Sandman says... giving references from the Bible.
Let me share with you something from my religion's Book Of Mormon. This come's from the Book of Mosiah. It's Mosiah 26: 29-30. "29 .....and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also. 30. Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them of their trespasses against me.
Do not give up hope. You have your whole life ahead of you.
Yes it will be a long, and hard road, but DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE OF BEING FORGIVEN.
I know God loves all of his children. That includes you and me. Keep praying. I know God will forgive you when you do what it takes.
If I've left anything unanswered, or if you just have other questions for me, I'm am very happy to answer them. I love helping people. I hope this has helped you.
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A
female
reader, ladysuzanna +, writes (16 October 2007):
 answer not if you were my daughter for someone to have to live that nightmare is bad enough i thing your parents should give thanks you lived forget the pass and move on to your new future good luck
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Hey darling. Hell is not an option for you. The anonymous female reader said it best when she quoted 1 John 1:9. There's also another passage in John 1:29 that states "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" TAKEN AWAY! That means, like it has been already stated - once you repent of your sins - they are taken away and forgotten! But you must also forgive the man who raped you. Not a popular statement, but something that all Christians must do!
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) states : 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
The other thing too you need to know is, once you've repented of your sin, you don't need to continue to let it be a burden to you. GIve it to God and let him work great mercies in your life. The Christian belief is built on one word:FAITH. Faith that you know that God has truly forgiven you of your sins and that your sins will not be held against come judgement day. You've got to believe this - with all your heart. That's the fundamental aspect of Christianity - faith.
Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Well, you made the right decision! I believe we are all faced with these things at some point in our lives. I certainly have. I believe that your decision for so right because how would you feel bringing up 'that' child? The product of a date rape. You couldnt possibly tell the child, yet in the future they would question their father and his family. You would open a whole can of worms and they would be left open to wriggle. It wouldnt be fair on you! Forget about your family and hell! It is your future, body, mind and soul so put it all behind you and move onto into the future.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Sweetie your not going to go to hell because you aborted a rapists child, if anything it was sensible you would have seen that guy in the babies face and that would have been worse, God will forgive you for doing whats right for you and the baby just confess your sins and it will be forgivin.
Honey you were raped and you need to tell someone and you need to tell the police, this is so serious as a victim myself i know how it plays on your mind and it can really haunt you, you need to tell your parents or someone and seek councilling and when you are strong enough tell the police so they can deal with this sick man, you did nothing wrong by going on a date i know your parents wont see it that way but to be honest they seem a little to strict you need to tell them what happend yeah they will be cross but they will be more concerned that you were raped and had an abortion on your own because you were so scared of them, rape is serious and the people who do it are animals they prey on there victims and mess with there minds and you need to talk to someone you have taken the first step by telling us and now you have to be really brave and tell people who can help
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Forget about your parents and hell. It's all a lie. I'm christian and religious also and I know there is forgivenes for you. You've already been forgiven by God because you repented of your sin, yet you are still worried about it. Remember the devil is a liar and he wants you to feel dirty and guilty for something you had no control of. God knows you acted out of desperation and shame. He forgives you.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Move on. Your parents are wrong. They might keep saying abortion is something evil and all women who have commited it will go to hell but they don't remember we are no longer in the law but in the grace. Grace means: undeserved favor. We might not deserve God's forgiveness for we all have sinned but we have it because he died for our sins. If you keep having doubts is because you have no faith.
Don't argue with them because they are evidently very controlling people and live in another era. Move out as soon as you can.
Micah 7:19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
God Bless You.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Tommy says it all really, in your religion it is said that God always forgives those who ask and want it from him.
So the problem isn't that you think god won't forgive you, it is that you won't accept God's forgiveness as he has already given it to you but you ignore it.
I would guess this is because you still blame yourself?
You will only be able to feel that God has accepted forgiveness when you are able to come to terms with the rape, pregnancy and abortion.
It also sounds like your parents are incredibly strict in their beliefs, this is probably another reason for why you are suffering so badly. Such fundamental beliefs never work well when something like this happens. As you get older you will develop your own confidence and sense of the world and with that you will become stronger and not feel as if their view is the only view.
You've been through a tough time but if you can allow it, it will begin to get much better. All the best with whatever you decide to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Dear, you have been in a very infortunate situation. What you did was very rational, because the baby would have reminded you of that criminal. It is so extremist to decide if one thing is right or wrong regardless of the circumstances. There is no template-situation that applies to all without analysing the conditions. Moreover, bringing the baby into the world, he perhaps would have found out he was the product of a rape. Quite a burdesome truth to live with. Religion should have no interference when it comes to these decisions. Because they influence you for life and religion does not live your life in your stead. It's great to have moral principles but to take them to the extrems? What about ecographies? Studies before birth? They can show a baby will have a permanent deficiency, physical or of other sort. Of course the abortion is compulsory, because the baby will have diminished or zero chances of a normal life. Or if you catch as a mother measles during the pregnancy this will be transmitted to your baby and it's very dangerous and the specialists don't recommend to ignore these risks... Please think it would have been a crime to bring to the world a baby knowing he does not have a father's support and the warmth of a family and involuntarily looking at him you'd have remembered how it all happened. You don't even know if your family would have helped you raise the baby! I understand your parents are very restrictive but you need to talk to someone to help you percolate between the blames and all. You'll have a partner and you'll need to have cured the scars of this awful incident to be able to live in harmony, with yourself especially. You should do some tests to be sure you're healthy after all this. Please help yourself, and stop the blaming. It won't be easy. But I've known women in this situation and they had the strength to continue. You too can have it. All the best, dear.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
God will forgive you if you ask and thereafter lead a proper life. God gives us freewill to test our judgment, but he also foregives the mistakes we make if we are sincere. This is best kept between you and God.
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