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male
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19 and until a few weeks ago I was still a virgin. My mates all knew and teased me a bit about it but I wasn't too bothered. Then in July, one of my mates was going on holiday to Greece and asked me for a lift to the airport.When I picked him up his mum (name removed) asked if she could come along for the ride. I'd only met her once before but she was a great laugh. On the way back from Gatwick she suggested we stop for a meal. Then when we got home she invited me in for a drink.Well, one thing led to the other and we ended up in bed. It was amazing. (name removed), a divorcee, has a great body for 40 and she did things I reckon younger girls would never do.We saw each other every evening that my mate was away, but now he's back we have to meet secretly. I really like (name removed) - I think I might even be falling in love with her - and she says she really likes me. But my mate will kill me if he finds out. How can we make this work?Darren
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Hi Reader.
it's plain and simple, It can't work! There is a 21 year age Gap between you two and if you did take it further with her your mate would find out one way or another. Then what would happen? Sorry if this is not the answer you're looking for but find someone your own age! There are plenty of stunning and lobely girls your age out there so get out and meet one!
Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (10 April 2006):
 Is it love or lust do you think? It seems to me that it may be the later and I would very carefully consider this because it sounds like this is more of a sexual attraction between the two of you plus perhaps the excitment of doing something that is "off limits".
I would discuss this with her before you worry about your mate. What does she want? Is she in for a good time or a relationship. I would seriously discuss this before you potentially ruin a friendship and get your heart broken.
Sit down and talk to her and figure out what you both want.
I would also consider what this woman could provide to you - you are young - do you want to study? travel? work? have kids? whilst she is older and has done a lot of these things and may have different needs and priorities.
The other thing is that you are making huge assumptions about girls your own age - why do you think that a 19 year old girl will not make a good lover or a good potential partner? She would most likely have a lot more in common with you and perhaps share more similar goals.
Dating someone with this age gap is a huge undertaking and you need to consider all the issues and know what she wants before you jump in and get hurt.
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