A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys and girls of DC. I am a guy and my problem involves a girlfriend of 7 months and an ex. We have been through a lot of tough times, but also a lot of good. My girl is very adventurous in the bedroom and has had numerous sexual encounters before going out with me. She has shown me things i never even thought about before here, and I am so lucky to have a girl who is willing to do all these exotic, erotic things with me.Recently, she suggested that we have a threesome with one of her friends. She has had a threesome with this girl and a previous boyfriend of hers before, so she is perfectly okay with it all. My problem is this; she introduced me to her friend.. and it is a girl i had a relationship with several years ago. We split up because she was wanted a more active sex life, but I was unsure at the time and I wanted a serious relationship, but she wasn't ready for one.We broke up on friendly terms but still had strong feelings for each other. We both hid the fact that we knew each other to make it less awkward with my girlfriend, and proceded with the threesome. During the sex, I found myself trying to avoid my ex as much as possible, because i was afraid of old feelings arising again, but this wasn't helped by my girlfriend who encouraged me to explore, and do all sorts of naughty things with my ex. Afterwards, we settled down and when my girlfriend had fallen asleep, my ex took me to another room where we watched porn, had more sex and slept the rest of the night together alone. My current girl didn't find out as we snuck back in the morning and pretended nothing had happened.Now my ex is saying that her feelings for me are what made her take me to the other room that night, and now she is looking for a serious relationship and i am looking for a more sexually active one. I still have incredibly strong feelings for her, but i also love my current girlfriend, who has suggested more threesomes in the future. If anyone needs more details to give advice then i'll be free to talk about it, but I have no idea what to do! Please help!
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broke up, my ex, porn, sex life, split up, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, texmex556 +, writes (14 December 2009):
OMG, yes you are my hero... In my 42 yrs I tried to hook up with two women and it never happened......My advise to you would be to enjoy them now, give them time and in the future bring up the poly triad relationship, If the girls get along, I mean even sexually then it's a win-win-win situation, They'll know you'll never stray, and they have the best of both Worlds.... Good luck my hero, enjoy yourself......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Not a good situation m'dear. Either tell your now girl friend or for the love of god or get rid of the ex and find another secondary. One or the other will be hurt and yes it sucks..but you have a choice...you can't have yoru cake and eat it for too long..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): First off, you need to respect your girlfriend enough to tell her what's going on; she has the right to know so she can make choices herself, especially since she's of a mind to have more threesomes not knowing that her relationship with you is in trouble due to the last one. She was thinking the threesome was all in 'just fun', and didn't realize the history of you and your ex. BAD for you not disclosing this up front :-(. You both hid your prior relationship to make it less awkward on your g/f; OK, now what?..IFF - BIG IFF - both women are polyamorous and can share you without jealously causing problems, you *may* be able to talk with both of them about your feelings and starting a triad. Since you said your ex is now looking for a serious relationship, I'm doubting she'll honestly go for it; she may say so, but will look to the long term of having you all to herself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): You see this is why you hire a call-girl for the occasion. You KNOW they won't be getting emotionally attached to either of you.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (11 August 2008):
 wow, this is a crazy situation. I totally wish I had the answer for you, but only you can reconcile which girl is ultimately the best one for you. If you love both girls equally...then I guess you have to ask yourself which girl is best for you. I loved my Ex girlfriend a lot, but somewhere in my heart I always knew it would end. Ask yourself if you have any similar feelings about your current girl and your ex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel that I want a serious relationship, but both girls offer that. I have been with my current girlfriend for 7 months as i said and we are both very close. However, the problem is my feelings for my ex are still strong and i have no idea which girl i like more. And in response to the anonymous poster, i am being serious and these two women are the only people i have ever slept with, so saying that 'too many girls want to sleep with me' is rather inaccurate.
In all honesty i see myself being with my ex, but they may just be because i used to imagine us together for the rest of my life when i was with her and these feelings have surfaced again now that we've been reconciled. They are not stronger than those for my current girlfriend, but they are definitley just as strong. I am feeling so confused and i feel guilty for sleeping with my ex when it wasn't a threesome, although it was incredibly good at the time and it felt right.
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (11 August 2008):
Okay, first...you're my hero! Second, you can't have them both, at least not in the long run. Eventually you're going to have to make a decision. The current girl or the ex. Try to picture your life ten years down the line. Which girl do you see being with for the long haul? Your adventurous current girlfriend or your ex who says she's ready for a commitment?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Sounds like you have a really tough issue. Too many girls want to have sex with you and you don't know what to do. I would give advice, but this is ridiculous. Are you actually serious?
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