A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy started having a relationship but we ended it because I couldn't see him very often. We've been friends ever since, but a year on I am completely besotted with him, so much that i'm pretty sure I love him, strong as the word is. Problem is, I know he still feels something for me, I know through the things he says/does but the thing is, I want to be more than friends now. Before I was scared of commitment, but now I feel ready. The problem is, I feel that my feelings for him are a lot stronger than his are for me.So i'm worried that if I tell him exactly how I feel, and he doesn't feel the same way, that i'll lose him as a friend, which is the last thing I want. I'd rather be friends than not have him in my life, I care about him that much, so at the moment, i'm playing it safe. I tend to bottle up my feelings a lot, and something bad always happens when it gets too much for me, and this is really getting me down. But how can I tell him without risking anything? It would be so helpful if I could find out how he felt before I tell him, but I don't know how I can? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Inumuro  +, writes (11 August 2008):
You have to understand this, not asking is the worst thing u can do. talk to him, ask him how he feels and if he wants to be with you. Not asking can build years of regret at the choice and what you didnt do. I have a personal expierience almost exactly like this cept we didnt date before. Just ask, and dont worry, i did, and im happier than ive ever been. And if you feel you have stronger feeling than he does, dont worry, as time goes on im sure his will grow to what yours are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Look honestly, who cares about being friends. Honestly no one gives a shit about that anyways. The truth is you wanna get with him and make sweet love together. So go for that by asking him out or something. Who cares if you aren't going to be "friends" afterwards. Real friends wouldn't even care that much if they knew you liked them. Go for it, if he doesn't feel the same, look for another.
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A
male
reader, justaguy999 +, writes (11 August 2008):
 If this guy is as good a friend as you believe him to be then you will not lose him if you tell him your feelings. Sure it may be awkward for a day or two but if he is any kind of friend then he will tell you how he feels and if it isn't the same way then he won't jeapordise your relationship. If he does feel the same way then you have gained something even more special and if he does chose to stop being a friend then he is not worth it anyway. I say go for it! Good luck and i hope things work out for you.
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