A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel so guilty. I got totally drunk (never ever been that drunk before) that I can hardly remember anything of my night. But what I do know is that I have stupidly had a drunken one night stand! I cant believe I was so stupid- it is so out of character and I dont know how it happened! I thought my drink may of been spiked but my friend reckons i just drank too much. I feel so guilty, dirty and am really ashamed of myself because it is so not like me! It was my first time aswel. I cant even remember his name or what he looks like! Please tell me others have been in the same situation and felt so guilty. I feel sick constantly at the thought. will i get over this feeling of guilt and shame?
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drunk, one night stand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): Hey sis!Don't worry! I can relate to what u've gone thru'. My case was worse...I totally had the hots for another guy but he wasn't showing much interest in me so I drank till I was totally out of it! Woke up the next day....and saw this guy(really ugly tho!) beside me...he wasn't drunk so he took advantage of me that night!....I'm trying to lay off drinks now...Just try to forget about what happened n move on....U'll find that life's like that...Sh*t happens! Take care....xx Try not to worry too much!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Babe, as you can see your are not the only one who has been in this situation. I think if many people where as honest as you we would all understand that it happens, sometimes to give us a peek at the possbilities certain behaviours can at times, unfortunately be a negative influence on how we feel about ourselves.
I have a friend who is now in her late 60's. She has never in the 18 years had a drink, I thought she was an alcholic, and never asked. I have always admired this womens strength and integrity, - she has her shit together in other words. I have only just found out her reason for not drinking is not because she is an alcoholic, but that she is allergic to booze and it totally changes her personality. After getting drunk badly at 17, she apparently lost the plot, stripped off and ran around the streets naked. After this event she was horrified at what she had done, never touched a drink since!
So I suppose if there is a moral to the above story, it's that sometimes we get that look into what things we can't coontrol, and when we do, we decide a good plan on how to avoid the situations or have better control.
Just life honey, and I bet if you now look at the situation, you will see what you have learnt and be thankful that this was a bump in the road and learning curve, which you can now use positively. You would have learnt heaps about yourself through this, so in a way it may be a good thing to happen now, and not when your in a relationship.
In a while, you will probably look back and have a laugh about this with your friends!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Dont beat yourself up over it...Take it as a learning experience and cut down on your excessive drinking or even consider quitting drinking all together...i can relate(and very recent for that matter)...and am doing the latter.Don't want to jeopardize my amazing relationship with my fiance any more than i already have. Take heart girl, it happens to the best of us. Hope you took morning afters and get a home pg kit if not. Do a test for Stds/hiv, it's a sad reality - the consequences of our actions.
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A
female
reader, Sariyah +, writes (13 September 2007):
OMG! Im in totally the same situation!
I know what you mean about beating yourself up about it!
It happened to me about 2 weeks ago. Im really embarrassed and ashamed with myself because I havent done anything like this before too!
I was really really drunk. He was a doorman at a club so he was totally sober. He really took advantage of the situation. I cant remember hardly anything an feel really used. I dare dent go back to the club coz Im so embarrassed about it.
I was so smashed! I keep telling myself stuff like what if he filmed it on his camera phone or something? Its really unlikely I know but I have these blanks an it makes me feel so bad.
I feel a little let down with my friends too as they didnt stay with me. Also he has a girlfriend so im probably gonna get a black eye next time I go out.
Also ne chance of getting back with my ex boyfriend of 5 years is out the window because he doesnt trust me and cant believe I cpuld do anything like this.
I think that the only reason we feel so bad is because we havent done anything like this an dont know how to deal with it emotionally. All my friends have 1 night stands all the time and never care about the consequence.
We all make mistakes though an if we didnt we would never learn. The main thing is to learn from this experience an to not be your own worst enemy and judge yourself too harshly as im trying to do. The fact that you care so much proves that you are a nice person and wouldnt have done it if you werent so drunk. Like alot others have said it happens to most people at some point so try not to worry too much.
The feeling of guilt does lessen as time goes on though. Give it a few weeks or months an im sure well both feel better about things lol xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): thanks for the answers ive received to my question. Im still feeling really down about what ive done and cant stop beating myself up about it. I am constantly feeling sick and can barley eat anything. I just hope that after a week or so I'll start feeling ok about it all and put it to the back of my mind. Its happened and I suppose ive got to start accepting it- i cant turn back the clock. I know I will never forget about it- which i suppose is a good thing as I have learnt my lesson and I know I will never ever get in a state like that again from alcohol and put myself in a situation like that again. I just also feel really let down by my friends who I was out with- i know im not there responsibily but I know I have looked out for them before if they have got too drunk and im just abit sad that they left me on my own. I feel like I have been really taken advantage of when I had no control over what i was doing. I havnt told any of my friends what happened- but im sure atleast one of them can guess but i keep denying it.I have found this forum very helpful, all your replys have helped reasure me a little that im not the only one been through this. thanks. xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): Dont you worry girl.. it is all apart of the growing up thing. Im sure you probably dont remember if you used a condom. But you will move on to another one some day.. Just dont get so drunk as to not to stay in control.. That is the first thing.. have fun in life and be safe..
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Hey babe, try not to worry about it, it's all part of growing up and we have all been there and done it before.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and just put it down to experience and don't feel guilty about it.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Anyone who has drank before or lived at all during high school/college can relate to you.I had the same thing happen to me once, I was downright smashed, ended uphooking up with a girl I never, ever had any intentions of doing anything with.I dispise her personality, and I don't mean to be shallow here but she is downright gross.Anyways, for a few weeks afterwards I felt ashamed of myself whenever I'd think about it. I didn't even want to leave my house knowing my friends would be laughing at me and whatnot.And they did, but they don't hold it against me, they all know people have incredibly bad judgement when you're durnk, I'm sure your friends will be the same way.As far as making yourself feel better about it, try not to think about it and eventually it'll pass.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): You are not alone, you will not be first and certainly not the last. Try to put it to the back of your mind and make sure you dont get into that situation again. You could of picked up a sexually transmitted disease or got pregnant, or worse, ended up with aids, so please please, if you have a drink then keep it to a moderation. Always be self aware and protect yourself. There are some people out there who prey on people like yourself and you wouldnt be the first person to be raped while drunk. If you are unsure about anything then go along and have a chat with your doctor and maybe get checked out for any diseases. Better to be on the safe side.Take care and stop worrying.xx
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