A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had a miscarriage in September 2008, i was nearly 4 months gone. I had to have my baby surgically removed on the 8th October 2008 and it broke my heart. I split up from my long-term boyfriend and was in deep depression for months (i also have bipolar). Im with a new man now, weve just had our 9 month anniversary. Im so happy but i think about my baby everyday, i cant think of one day where i havent. My question is really, how long will i feel like this? I dont want to forget, yet i dont want to think of her everyday, is that selfish? Please help me, i should be celebrating her first xmas right now. I cant live the rest of my life like this. Im also scared that when i have children in the future ill got post-natal depression and reject them.
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female
reader, LoviesBrknHeart  +, writes (23 December 2009):
Hun that is somethin that never goes away... Im 27 years old and suffered my first miscarriage this past summer... You will smile again tho unless you havent already... Life throws us so many curves and its up to us on how we deal...Accept that it wasn't meant to be and appreciate your new found love and enjoy life... as far as future babies go... try to stay positive and tell yourself that every baby is a blessing...be ready next time, plan for a baby when you are sure you have all the love to give a child again...and you'll be fine... get through the phases and move on... Depression is QuickSand ... Remember that..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): You've had a lot to contend with all at once, losing the baby,splitting up, starting with someone new are all stressful. It's natural to grieve for your baby and you are not being selfish wanting to think of her less, you just want to be happy and thinking of her all the time cannot benefit anyone. Christmas can bring up a lot of things and you may feel better after it.
You don't say whether you are having counselling but this can be arranged through your doctor and help you to manage the depression and feel happier. I would strongly recommend you ask about it. It's free and as you are bipolar you should easily be offered it.
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