A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months. Recently I haven't been feeling the same, like I still love him but I get the feeling he doesn't. Things have changed a little over the weekend and I don't like the way it's going. I had a feeling he was texting other girls as everytime his phone went off he would hide it or shut it off and he just hasn't been as caring and loving towards me so, I went through his phone. I know I shouldn't but it was killing me inside knowing he might be hiding something from me. When I checked his WhatsApp there we're several messages from other girls, flirting and asking to meet up AGAIN?! Another was a girl sent him a picture of herself and his reply was 'that's hot', these messages we're all from last month. I feel utterly sick. I don't know how to approach the situation and bring it up as he will know I've gone through his phone. What should I do?
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (18 November 2014):
There are how many men in your country??? But you let one man, who not even your husband, play this game with you.
When these things happen this early in a relationship, what do you think it means for the future years to come??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2014): I agree with all the previous posters.
He won't change and what he's doing is wrong.
He might turn it against you. Change the focus of your conversation and discuss your snooping around his phone.
This snooping makes sense only if you do something about it. I'd leave.
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A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (18 November 2014):
 I think you both are still young. They do say girls mature earlier than guys, so maybe you are at a stage where you are ready to commit to one boyfriend and stay faithful. He is just not be ready yet. I'm not sure if he's really meeting up with those girls and doing things you think he's doing.. He may just see texting and flirting with girls online as harmless fun. He knows and acknowledges you as his girlfriend.Why not talk to him and let him know how you feel about him texting and flirting with other girls. Be patient with him and 'teach' him how to be the boyfriend you'd wish for him to be. At the same time, listen to him and see how you can be a better girlfriend.If you want to be in a relationship with this guy, you BOTH need to work on it. Don't walk away as soon as there's something wrong. Be understanding and forgiving towards each other. Learn to talk things out calmly and compromise. In time, he will earn your trust.Best wishes!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 November 2014):
You snipped for a reason. Be honest because this is about the FACT that he cheated. If you're okay with that it's up to you.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (17 November 2014):
I would tell him I know he's been texting and meeting other girls (you don't need to explain how) and that you're leaving him. You can do so much better than this cheating coward - go and find someone who will treat you better.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 November 2014):
 Honeypie has it right... dump him. IF you feel uncomfortable just up and leaving... and IF you and he have any sort of discussion about your leaving.... you can simply say:
"Hunchy-bunchy, I was a BAD GIRL and snooped through your phone... and YOU KNOW WHAT??? .... I found something - about YOU - that was even BADDER than me being a snoop. YOU, Sir, are a cheat. AND, I never want to see you again. Good bye."
That should even things up.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2014): I think you deserve better and should end it with him.. I know that's easily said than done, but you have to think if he loves you he would not be texting and meeting these girls behind your back. ive been with my boyfriend for the past 3 years and there was this girl that tried getting in the way but I arranged to meet her and we talked things out and she didn't contact him again but it seems like your situation has gone past the point of this. Also so you try explaining to him how you feel and tell him how you did go on his phone and ask him outright about these girls.
But no girl deserves to be cheated on and you defiantly can do better!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2014):
 Why not just end it with him? Tell him you are aware that he is STILL chatting up other chicks, and you are done with that and him? No need to explain you went through his phone.
Had you asked him if he was chatting to other girls he would without doubt have lied and you would have stayed, but now that you KNOW what he did, why stick around? Why waste more time on this guy?
He is NOT going to STOP doing this, he is NOT going to become the GUY you want him to be. You know faithful and respectful of his relationship and his GF. It's not going to happen. He does what he does (chatting up and maybe even meeting up) with other girls because he feels ENTITLED to do so.
Find yourself a better BF.
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