A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hi,the thing is that i had crush on a girl. we both are in the same school. i saw her in the school corridor before the vacations. she was the bestie of my friend's gf. i contacted my friend's gf and got my crush's number. i contacted her and we started talking. after the vacations, i just confessed to her that i had a crush on her, but i didnt want to be in a relationship. she just said ok. after 1 month, i started talking to her. we had night calls,chats etc. then we started getting to know each other. now we are just friends. but the thing is that i want to be her bestie and she keeps giving me hints that what someone should do to girl to be friends with her. should i follow the hints and start doing stuff like saying good morning and good night, hug her from back,listen her or should i do some other thing(keep in mind that she knows that i hd a crush on her).she ws my one and only crush.
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female
reader, Teen anonymous  +, writes (30 August 2017):
Hi Crushy or bestie ,
I have been in this position before but from the girls point of view. If a guy tells a girl that he has a crush on him but doesn't want a relationship this can be sending mixed signals to the girl. The best thing for you to do would be to take some time and work out your own feelings. By doing this you will figure out wether she is just a freind or if there is a possibility for a relationship. However it is best not to keep on stringing this girl along.
Hope it works out well,
Teenanonymous .
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 August 2017):
 You told her you have a crush on her and this may have confused her or given mixed signals. A crush means that you like her romantically, not simply as a friend- that you are attracted to her as MORE than a regular friend.
As a matter of fact, if you have a crush on her, IMO you can't even really be friends. Platonic friends treat each other nicely, bur no differently than they would treat a same sex friend ; no mushy stuff :).
A friend with romantic feelings is a suitor, a wannabe lover - maybe that's why she said " ok " when you said you did not want a gf, yet she is trying to steer you in a nore romantic, touchy-feely direction. Maybe she thinks that you are shy and need to be encouraged- or she does not know what to do with one more platonic friend , it's the romance part she wants, and she is pushing you subtly in that direction.
Do not second her. Don't act like a boyfriend. Do not exceed with hugs and sweet words. In fact, if she insists in wanting you to romance her, you might be obliged to remind her, kindly but clearly, that what she wants from you is not appropriate in your situation, because you have drawn the line at sincere but platonic friendship, and you do not want to do anything to blur it.
Next time , though, if you don't want anything too personal and romantic- don't even mention you have a crush, it slants thing in a whole different way and, as you have seen, causes confusion and misunderstandings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2017): Taking a second-look at your post I do want to add something.
Don't tell a girl she's your crush. If you don't know what that means, it means you like her in a romantic way. It doesn't mean you just want to be friends.
Don't go asking other people for phone numbers of girls; then tell her you just want to be friends. That is misleading. Girls don't think like boys.
You are not a girl. So don't ask girls to be besties. Ask them to be friends, and leave it at that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2017): I think you want to be one of her closest friends. She makes the choice and decides who is her "bestie."
When boys are being friends with girls, the lines get blurred. They don't like boys the same way they like their girlfriends. They also have the choice of deciding if they want to be friends or not. They can be bossy, and make a lot of rules. Listen to the rules that require you to behave nicely. Not the touching part. She's trying to trick you into being her boyfriend. Very clever!
Don't hug her from behind, and don't act like a boyfriend. You're a smart kid, and you know what she is asking doesn't sound like being just a friend. Keep your distance. If that isn't enough, and she decides to stop being a friend. Then respect her wishes and move on.
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