A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am very much in love with a man and we are about to get married quite soon. I have been married before and I bought my first husband a very expensive watch which he left behind when he left me. I gave my fiance the watch to sell for me as he knows a lot of people and is good at doing this kind of thing. The problem is he has sold it to his best friends wife as she wants a male watch to be trendy. i am not happy about this because I assumed ( wrongly) that he would not sell this to someone I knew and I would be very upset to see this watch on somebody else all the time. I appreciate I should have made my feelings clearer but I think most people would ask the owner if they minded before selling it to someonethey are going to see nearly every day. Now i cannot bear the thought of even seeing the woman incase she is wearing the watch. I assumed I would never see it again. I am now feeling very annoyed with my fiance who doesn't see where I am coming from at all and thinks that I am making a fuss about nothing. To top it all he has given her the watch with the understanding that she pays for it next month and he trusts her. I am not close to her and do not. The way i see it is that i have lost my watch and received no money. This in my mind has broken my trust for my fiance. Do you think I am over reacting?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Yes, you are overreacting, if you had specifics, you should have told him that. How does this break trust? He did not even know it would be an issue, thus not a break of trust.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments. The problem is that my fiance knows I am not keen on this woman and he would say if he was telling the truth that even without thinking that I wouldn't have wanted him selling my watch to her. I still think he should have asked me. I am not close to this woman but as my fiance's best friend is her husband I do and am going to see her a lot. I have explained this and my fiance understands and also understands that I am angry that he didn't get the money before giving her the watch. He is going to chase her for the money. I have learnt a good lesson from this though and that is don't trust anyone to do something for you do it all yourself if you can then there is no ill feeling or come back in any way!
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (28 March 2009):
 I do not really see where you are coming from either. You should have given your fiance a list of people you dont want him to sell the watch to if it bothers you so much!
Firstly it is just a watch, some fading memory of your past. Secondly you said you are not close to that woman. So you will not see her or her watch. Whats the problem? If it really bothers you so much ask for your watch back and sell it on ebay then you will get your money yourself.
I assume that your boyfriend does understand that he is liable for the watch and the money as you are both adults so I wouldn't worry about the money.
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A
female
reader, lezlie  +, writes (28 March 2009):
Yeah i think your over reacting big time. Look at it this way, the watch is a symbol of your previous marriage. Which i assumed until i continued reading your post, that you were well and truly past. Clearly not. So what if some one else you know is wearing the watch? You should be over that marriage, should have gained closure, if not why are you marrying again?Its not your husbands fault, you never specified whom you wanted to sell it to. Being a fiance and all, he clearly assumed you just wanted to see the back of the gift, and done what a loving husband would do and done the deed for you. If you wanted it to be sold to the general public why didnt you advertise in a newspaper? I dont quite understand how this has 'broken' your trust for your fiance, in no way has he betrayed your trust?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): No I dont think you are over reacting. I mean he never should have given her the watch unless she had the money up front. What if something were to thappen to the watch and it breaks and she never pays for it? Where does that leave you then? Yes you should have made your feeling more clear to hime but thats in the past. Have you made your feelings clear to him now? I think you should communicate with him how you feel about this. Tell him that it will hurt you to see this watch and what you were looking for was a clean break not a constant reminder of your ex. Best of luck to you, I hope you end up with your money!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): You're quite right in that you should have made your feelings clearer. I imagine your fiance assumed you had little or no emotional attachment to this watch, and simply wanted some money for it, otherwise you would have kept it in a little box at the back of the wardrobe. Whoever bought it had the same colour money as anyone else as far as he was concerned.
Just let him know you're holding him personally responsible for any missed payment and that you'll be claiming any losses from him.
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