A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on tinder in May and I fell for him and I thought it was mutual because when we see (which is not very often due to his job) we always make out and stuff, plus he once asked me if I would like to fall in love with him. A few days ago, I asked him about us being in a relationship and he said he wanted to be friends for now. This was unexpected because I few days earlierw when I initially asked, he said he'd like to be exclusive but we needed to talk about it more first. The sad thing is that I still want him. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (10 August 2016):
You are three months in now, so exactly what is his proposal? Is he dating other women? Or exclusively getting to know you slowly, no making out etc either - and how interested is he in you? And how is he getting to know you? And what effort is he putting in?
Three months in if he isn't showing all positive in the areas above, then this is a dud
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (3 August 2016):
For me it's simple: when you are at the stage of making out, you should be exclusive. If you don't put off dating others to make yourself available for someone that you are interested in, how are things going to progress? Sure, take things slowly and spend time getting to know each other, but I would make it clear to him that you expect him To be exclusive whilst you build this relationship up. If he can't, you are just too different. And yes, I do think he's still stringing you along. I'm sorry.
I wish you all the very best
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe talked about the whole situation a few days ago and he said that when he said that he didn't mean that we should rule out dating and what he meant was that he wanted us to get to know each other better before exclusivity. Do you think he's stringing me along?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (29 July 2016):
I’m afraid I agree with Miss Frank that there is no substance to this relationship. I think you want different things. How can he want to be friends for now yet make out with you? You don’t make out with friends. Why do you need to talk more about being exclusive? It’s very clear to me that he wants to keep it casual. He is stringing you along, telling you enough of what you want to hear to keep you hooked and yet trying to avoid making things more serious. Hard though it will be for you, I think you should break things off and stop contact now. I think you will otherwise get more hurt further down the line with this man.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, BazingaToZulus  +, writes (28 July 2016):
 Hello there, well I must tell you that the statement he made to you "you would like to fall in love with me?" really jumped out at me because he knows you really like him and by saying that he created a sense of "hoping for more in the future" in you. Also the fact that you don't see him often mixed with the make out sessions when you do see each other followed by the avoidance to engage in a more meaningful exclusive relationship is an indicator that he wants to play and keep you around for that reason. Now of course nothing is 100% sure in romantic relationships and of course things can change but one has to be careful. The first thing I would suggest is to take some distance (that has nothing to do with him, you have to do it for yourself). I'm not saying throw him overboard, but just let him walk around the deck alone once in a while. You see, you have to keep some distance in order to 1- keep emotional pain to a minimum 2- get more information on the real status of that relationship or at least your request for one that's more stable and meaningful. A man (or a woman) who is in love or just merely interested in you will want to see you and spend time with you without any effort on your part, but if you limit the physical aspect a little (not cut it out completely, just limit) and try to do other things like restaurants, movies, taking walks or just talking somewhere and you see that he's not interested in doing that as well then you have a clear answer. You see, when I was interested in a girl, we could've spent the evening sitting in a puddle of mud, talking and I would've cared, I just wanted to be with her. A potential new relationship is like a ride in a car to nowhere, it can be exciting or calm and comfortable, maybe a little dangerous, but you always have to wipe the windshield once in a while to see where you're going. Hope everything works out for you, good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (27 July 2016):
Oh dear. From what you write here, there's no real substance to this other than you meeting up every now and then and making out. He's set his boundary, he's clear that he didn't want a relationship but is happy with the casual agreement that you have.
What to do? Decide if this casual arrangement works for you and you can contain your feelings, totally friend zone him which means no making out etc... I doubt he will go for that option if I'm honest, or explain to him it's best you stop contact as you were thinking it was going one way and as it isn't you will be moving in, no hard feelings.
Whatever way you look at it, this relationship wise is a dud. Through no fault of yours by the way ??
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