A
male
age
36-40,
*orry
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and we get along great. I can honestly say that she is the only girl I ever want to be with again. BUT at the same time I am so confused and disappointed in myself. A month ago, we got into a huge fight. I found text messages from her ex boyfriend. He was saying that he missed her and shit like that. Even though I saw her text saying that she missed him, but was happy with me, I got angry that she even texted him. I'm not a jealous person normally. I know she talks to other ex's and she hangs out with male friends all the time, and I'm fine with that. This guy just really bugs me. When I brought it up to her we got into an argument and she left. A few hours later we went out to a bar and of course he was there and when I saw them talking I got pissed and left. She came home with me and we got into a huge fight and I got physical with her. I am not a fighter, I'm not a bully and I have never hit another girl in ever. As soon as I did it I panicked and believe me I will never hurt her again. She has since forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself and can’t. I don’t know why I did what I did. I want to just forget it ever happened, but it is always on my mind. I can’t argue with her without fearing that she is afraid of me. Every time she wants to be physical I keep recalling that night and I feel like such an ass that I can’t. How do I move on but make sure nothing like that ever happens again?
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female
reader, Love Mama +, writes (7 April 2011):
 I think actions speak louder than words and, sadly, yours spoke MULTITUDES. However, you can do something about this that will really show her how awful you feel about it and that you are working on it so it doesn't happen again: get counseling with a professional or group that specializes in this area. What's done is done, but now is the time to man-up and fix your mistakes before they get out of hand.Oh. And be darned sure to give her some flowers and let her know that this is what you are doing. Don't wait.Love Mamaxox
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 First of all, when anger is expressed through physical means, it is often found that the source is a multitude rather than just the immediate issue. That is to say, ensure you deal with all your stress and find a way to focus all of that energy into something else.
Your girlfriend has forgiven you, she must really love you, so make it up to her and show her that you truly want her forgiveness. I am afraid those wounds will turn to scars on some level though, you will both cease to remember it after some time, be careful not to pick at it.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (7 April 2011):
You should see a therapist. I understand you were really pissed off. But you just can't get violent to another person (not even a guy) just over an argument. Physical violence is reserved for other situations.
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