A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship with someone for just about one year now. He is great, a very likable person. The thing is, this all started as a "rebound" type relationship, literally as I came out of a very tough four year relationship. We immediately started off by spending way too much time together and I know it all "developed" at an unhealthy rate. I know that I was definitely not ready to start a relationship one year ago, and I am not even sure that I should be in one at this point. That knowledge aside, I find myself interested when other men show me attention, and I feel the desire to pursue dating others. When reasonably thinking, I should probably not be dating at all. What is the right thing to do to this nice guy that got caught up with an immature mess like myself? By the way, he is always saying really nice things and telling me that he loves me, I have not returned those words (although I do think I love him for being such a comfort, but not necessarily in the most romantic way). P.S. I do understand my own shortcomings that have led me to this situation. I would just like to know what is the right thing to do for the guy I'm involved with.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2013):
 You put it perfectly yourself..
"When reasonably thinking, I should probably not be dating at all."
No, you shouldn't be dating someone you don't feel love for after a year.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (2 October 2013):
 The right thing to do is to end the relationship, as soon as possible. All you can do is be honest - explain that it has moved too fast for you and you have realised that you got together too soon after your ex, and you need some time to be single to figure things out.
There is no harm in realising he is just a comfort rather than a long term love interest, that was what you needed at the time following your break up but now the time has come to end it and move on - it is not fair to him to lead him on, making him hope that one day you might love him, marry him, have his children etc. The reality is that you enjoy his company and he is comforting, however you dont have any romantic feelings for him and if these have not developed after a year then chances are they never will.
Honesty is the best policy - dont mention dating other men, but admit that you got involved with him too soon, that you dont feel the same way about him as he feels about you, and that you need some time to be alone to sort yourself out.
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