A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll keep this short, I'm a 16 year old girl and I have liked guys in the past, but a couple of years ago I got hurt, nothing serious, but ever since then I haven't liked any guys, or had any crushes, or anything like that. Is that normal? And I don't want to turn up to college having never had a real boyfriend, so should I just try to make myself get over it? The thought of going out with someone just really freaks me out...
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys :) you've all been really helpful!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): Firstly going to college o univeristy never had a real boyfriend is no big deal. Many of the guys you meet at college will never have had a real girlfriend. I never had a 'real' girlfriend until I was 30. So don't worry about that at all!
You have been hurt before and it is understandable that you are now a little more cautious when it comes to guys. As somebody who has been hurt by girls before, it will take a little time for you to 'get over it' but trust me when I say that one day you will get over it - often when you realise that there are many more other people out there and that there are more important people and things in your life that you care about or want to achieve than just this one guy that hurt you.
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A
male
reader, lakers_lover09 +, writes (6 March 2011):
The heart expresses itself in weird ways to feel secure, my advice is dont wait on mr right. Dating is far overrated at our ages (im twenty) u def do not want a bf heading to college cause its just icing on the cake considering responsibility stress and trouble. Be young have fun and let ur heart decide when it has met someome worth falling for :)
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A
male
reader, Drakken000  +, writes (6 March 2011):
Its perfectly normal. You really shouldn't worry about what others at college might think at all. Relationships are something personal, and if you haven't come across someone you like then that is perfectly fine; all it means if that you haven't come across a guy thats your type. You will find a decent guy you like when the time is right, but you shouldn't force yourself to get over anything. Just be confident about who you are as a person, and forgive the cliche but just be yourself. Let others judge you on the type of person you are, not how many boyfriends you've had. Those are real friends. When the time is right and the person is right, everything will fall into place.
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A
male
reader, Drakken000 +, writes (6 March 2011):
Its perfectly normal. You really shouldn't worry about what others at college might think at all. Relationships are something personal, and if you haven't come across someone you like then that is perfectly fine; all it means if that you haven't come across a guy thats your type. You will find a decent guy you like when the time is right, but you shouldn't force yourself to get over anything. Just be confident about who you are as a person, and forgive the cliche but just be yourself. Let others judge you on the type of person you are, not how many boyfriends you've had. Those are real friends. When the time is right and the person is right, everything will fall into place.
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A
female
reader, Hannah_Lucie +, writes (6 March 2011):
Every body gets hurt at somepoint and evebody deals with it differently, for example some people take longer to recover then others. you shouldnt worry about going to college and never having a serious relationship becasue some people dont have serious relationships untill there early 20's! you may not have had crush's on guys becasue you havent meet anyone that u like in that way.. but try writing down what happened in the last relationship that caused u to hurt so much and write down every thought about it.. this may help u explore and discover what makes u truely fear being in another relationship. but bare in mind u may just not have found anyone u want to be in a relationship with.
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A
female
reader, McWtf  +, writes (6 March 2011):
i'm 19 now and i had the same issue.
as to the word "normal", it shouldn't even exist!
you have nothing to be scared of.
just try to find the real cause of your issue
it might have nothing to do with being a little hurt.
for me it was both my emotion deprived father, and my struggle with my sexuality (which is over now btw)& my lack of self confidence, the lack of trust especially towards men, & the fact that i find men to be immature.
remember, there is nothing wrong with being single, it means you're Independent and that's never a bad thing.
and while waiting for mr. right to come around, if you're feeling lonely, surround yourself with friends.
they bring so much joy to life.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (5 March 2011):
 I had the same thing happen. It's nothing wrong with you. One part of what's going on is that your tastes have just matured. You've found out a little bit more about what you do and don't like in a boyfriend. The right person will come along who fits those new criteria, and from them, you'll learn a little more in that area. So on and so forth until you find the right man to be with for keeps. The secon part is that you might be scared to start a process of building up a relationship all over again. You got hurt, maybe you feel he wasted your time, etc. Give yourself a little bit of pressure free time to think about it an heal. Then you'll be ready. If you feel like your last mate wasted your time, just think about what you learned that you do and don't like. All that wasn't a waste was it? Don't worry, you're ok. Relax and dating will come easier to you.
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