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female
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anonymous
writes: I need help!! My ex boyfriend and I live apart as we are at different universities. We had been together since our schooldays but always found it hard to be apart. We finished the relationship a while ago as we couldn't be sure that it was possible to still be in love with each other when we never saw each other or spoke to each other that often. However, we decided to stay friends and speak every so often. Tonight he made contact for the first time since and it was great to hear from him. He asked if I wanted to catch up with him soon and I said yes. He said that he has missed me and that he's looking forward to seeing me. I feel the same way and it felt right. I may be wrong but i got the feeling that he may want more than just a friendship. I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. Before university, we had a great relationship. If we were to get back together, we would definitely have to make more effort in order for it to work. But I don't want to set myself up for a fall. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (15 March 2006):
 I think you need to very carefully consider the following things when you are in this situation...
(1) the real reasons you broke up
(2) how you felt when you broke up - were you sad? relieved? scared?
(3) what was the good and bad of when you were dating - I would be ruthless when doing this. Remember the relationship as it was, not through rose coloured glasses!
(4) have the things that lead you to break up changed?
(5) why do you want to get back together? - is it because you are feeling lonely, missing him, scared of being alone, guilty that you should give him a second chance?
(6) is it likely to work out? (really be honest here!)
(7) he is the best person in the world for you or he is the best option right now? - sometimes it is more convinient to get back with an ex than meet someone new as it is less work getting to know each other etc.
(8) do you have doubts? what are they? are they just nervous butterflies or are they something deeper than that?
I can't tell you if you are doing the right or wrong thing but I think you really need to consider these points and decide if in your heart it is what you want and it is the best option for you.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
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