A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey there guys and girls, i have an issue, about one month ago I had a split with my girlfriend, of 2yrs (on and off)... We had a big argument, about nothing which turned into -....- I told her if she wasnt happy then i will catch her later!....She said its not as simple as that...., but then spurned into a huge fit, went mental, and started arguing, we both did and then she asked me to leave. I did packed my stuff up, and met her a week later, tried to convince her but nope she refused...Now I am sooo missing her, ive emailed her, called her, texted her, and sent flowers..... she has said its over, but Im more concerned that she feels she doesnt need to see me right now...and I know the fact she gets upset - she misses me...I was out in the local bar, my usual daily beer, and she didnt even come over to see me, her sister did, we both got upset, and then my when she did come over and she got upset and dragged her sister away.....Im sooo on a looow right now, I miss her soo much, but I dont want to annoy her and keep on contacting her, as its me thats done all the calling, and contact..... She says she is not ready to see me and would feel awkward, why is this?, she says we would have nothing else to say than why we split up!?we were best friends, lovers, she is not the sort of person that would cheat, I think her pals are tellin her to keep away....? but im not sureplease can you advise me,we have spent all this time together in 2 yrs, nearly everyday - will she miss me? How can i work at her? how can I get her back...?She wont even let me meet up with her or see her...its driving me crazy..or should I leave her be now...... please help me, as im on a serious low, dont even feel like getting up in the morning anymore....
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHopeful thanks for your advise I think I will leave it for 5-7 days, Im not sure if a letter would work, I just dont understand the whole thing, we have split up before, and she was adamant at first we would never get back, then it just happened, however we were seeing each other every so often this time, we havnt even seen each other, Ive asked her she feels its gonna be too awkward?!?!?! which is annoying we have never been too awkward.I love her soo much, and absence has meant the heart has grown fonder......
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (15 March 2006):
 I would leave it a few days. Think carefully about her and the relationship and what you want.
I know you are low and upset now and I know that feels awful but believe me you have to get past it and you will.
I think after a few days (no contact with her) sit down and write a letter which explains how you feel and what you want. Send it to her and then leave it completely in her court.
You can't force her to see or speak to you. Once you have got your point to her, you need to let her think and calm down and realise what she wants.
Wouldn't you rather be alone than force someone to be with you?
Give her time and if it is meant to be, it will otherwise you will meet someone even better for you.
In the meantime, I would suggest (as much as I'm sure you don't feel like it) to get out and do something nice for yourself. Go and buy yourself something nice, go out with some mates somewhere fun, spoil yourself, plan a nice holiday...whatever it is you like!
I know its hard but it will all be fine, either way - with or without her...take care of yourself.
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