A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This isn't really about love or relationship, it's about health I suppose, I'm not sure what's wrong with me! Here's the problem, every time I go into my bed room, I have to check in every corner that there's not a camera watching me?? I get really worried that a tape of me in my bedroom is going to get shown at school, so when my teacher says we are watching a DVD/video I get really hot, sweaty And paranoid. My bedroom is the only place I look for cameras at the moment, but I feel If I don't do it something bad will happen? I will be thankful for all help I can get from you xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): It's the next day after I posted this and it just keeps getting worse. I cant do anything in my room untill I have checked the corners! And if I even pop out my room for like 3 seconds, I have to check it when I come in? I have told myself not to do it and it's all in my head but it's not working and I really don't know what to do? Thanks for all the help so far guys xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): I used to be a bit like this when I was your age, I think it came from being overly self-conscious. Although I don't think I got quite as worried as you do about watching a dvd at school.
I just had to keep reminding myself it was silly and it went away on it's own pretty quickly. So you can try that or if it begins to really interfere in your life, try speaking to someone as has been suggested previously.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 I agree that it sounds like obsessive compulsive disorder. I would talk to your parents about it, describe your fears and rituals, but if they blow you off, don't blow yourself off: go to a school counselor, who should be able to get you on the right track.
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A
female
reader, lemonyliz +, writes (8 March 2011):
Sounds like you may have a compulsion. These can be derived from a disorder like OCD, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Borderline, etc. Or it could be based on some instance of trauma like a post traumatic reaction. Maybe a bad nightmare or some instance in which you felt like a private part of your life was exposed to others against your will? Sometimes if someone in your life does not respect your privacy and snoops or is very controlling in a way that doesn't respect your boundaries, compulsions can form. All of these are possibilities, but it could be a number of things. What I would say is that there are many different reasons why this could be causing you anxiety, and the best thing to do is to talk to a doctor about it. Anxiety is something that many, many people deal with and there are many types of treatment and coping methods that could help you manage this problem, and even free you from this fear. Talking with a family member and setting up an appointment and gaining support is probably the best option. No one deserves to live in fear, I hope you can find a method of treatment that helps rid you of this paranoia, good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): I can partially relate to what you're feeling. You're alone and yet you feel you're being watched. There's not a consice way name this feeling, but I think a lot of people feel this way from time to time.
BUT, I think the difference with you is that you have a full-blown fantasy (or nightmarish) scenario: someone is going to tape you unknowingly and show you to your peers. To me, that sound like you have a fear of being exposed.
AND, you take action in real life to prevent this hypothetical scenario from taking place. You check the corners of your room.
This sounds awful... People need privacy and solitude to recharge and if you can't be at ease in your own bedroom, then I can imagine why this is so distressing.
I want to preface any advice that I give by saying I am 100% not certified to give advice or diagnose people...but it sounds to me like you might have obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm not an expert, but it seems to be fairly common with people in your age group. And I think it tends to be something most people grow out of or manage with age.
For instance, at your age, I would have to get up several times out of bed before falling asleep to make sure the front door was locked. I didn't have a really articulate fantasy that someone would break in and enter our family's apartment, but I felt compelled to do this several times before falling asleep "just in case". Now days I am in my own apartment and I am proud to say that I forget to lock the door on occasion.
What to do? It does sound distressing and you seem to be worried that your worry will spread to other spaces in your life. Talk to your parents about it. Ask if you can see a psychologist. Solitude shouldn't be underestimated...everyone needs to feel alone and safe from time to time.
Good luck.
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