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Do I not do this because of the age difference or her being in a very emotional state or do I so it to help her regain her self confidence?

Tagged as: Age differences, Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 March 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *roblem3089 writes:

Ok so here is my problem and i have no idea what to currently do at this point. I apologize in advance for how long this article is but I wanted people to understand the background first.

I have worked in a small shop for about a year with a couple of older women. One of them left a while ago and me and the other lady(my boss) have built up a really good friendship over the past year.

Anyway recently she has found out her husband for 35 years was cheating on her and she has since moved out of their home. She did not want to tell anyone but eventually broke down in front of me at work and ever since I have been trying to support her, however I am still the only one who knows.

When I say support I mean keeping her company as she does not like to be alone because all she can think about is what has happened. This included staying with her in a hotel for two nights where nothing did happen but I certainly did get a shock at the idea when she first suggested it but I felt I had to support her.

Things have since developed since then and on a work night out with other members of staff from another shop she suggested that we should have sex. I was not too sure and thought it may be the drink affecting her judgement but the next day she said she meant what she said. This is not for a relationship but just for sex.

Here is the part where people may get very judgemental. She is 57 years old and I am only 21 years old. Of course my hormones are raging and she is an older woman who im sure could teach me things but It's one hell of a large age difference.

She has also mentioned that she has felt inadequate and doubted her self confidence because of her husband cheating on her.

Me being only 21 should I just be saying why not its only sex? I mean she still is married to her husband so it's basically like her cheating on him aswell. Do I not do this becasue of the age difference or her being in a very emotional state or do I so it to help her regain her self confidence.

Any sensible advice would be much appreciated.

thankyou

View related questions: at work, confidence, moved out

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (8 March 2011):

Danielepew agony auntWell, do find another job.

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A male reader, Problem3089 United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2011):

Problem3089 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the answers, Im posting this just to clear a few things up though.

My job is only part time work and as much as I do enjoy it I could probably easily find another, so Its not like my full time future job.

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A female reader, StarryEyes101 United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2011):

StarryEyes101 agony auntI totally agree with Danielepew. You are jeopardising your job either way. It's probably the emotional state that she suggested it. Perhaps she wasn't getting any at home or something. But either way, she knows you are a young guy and to ask you that, it is a bit disrespectful for putting you on the spot like she did.

She'll get over it sooner or later... Another way.

Hope this helps.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (8 March 2011):

Danielepew agony auntShe can regain her self confidence in a different way. Refuse to be her toy.

I wonder what people would say about me (steaming hot as I am) if I were to use a girl who could be my grand-daughter to "regain my confidence". Yeah, right.

At the very least, it is inappropriate of her to ask. Not because of her age, but because she's your employer. Cynics like me could perhaps suspect that, erm, you could get fired if you refused.

Oh, and I hope you're good at finding another job. I don't think you will last much on this one, whatever you say. If you say yes, she will eventually want to end the sex. Either she will say that she "came to her senses" and likes you as a friend, et cetera, or will avoid you. That place will be a very uncomfortable place to work. So I think you should wake up early tomorrow and get hold of the classified ads.

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