A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is away for christmas and i miss him so badly i feel like constantly crying He promised to keep in touch but sometimes he is not very good at it I feel like part of me is missing when he is away and dont know how to cope Im 24 but this is my first real relationship and although we have been together over a year i cant get used to when he goes away I have got things to do while he is away but its not the same as having him near me I also suffer with panick attacks badly and when i dont hear from him i start to have panick attacks to the stage where i hyperventilate I have been really good recently and have not had too many panicks but at the minute I just cant stop myself He went yesterday and i cried quite a bit Im still finding myself crying this morning I have sent him a text but heard nothing yet I really love him and i know he loves me too Why cant this thought be enough I know people that are happy of the rest when their partners go away but im not like this and miss him to a heart breaking point
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 December 2007):
 I have lived in several different countries and my husband has travelled, for the most part, more than a third of the year for the majority of our lives together. I have had experience in living without the man that I love, and I have done this for 35 years. It is possible to survive, and actually thrive, but you have to be your own person, first and foremost. As you can see from both Midge and myself, it is possible! Take heart! If we can do it, so can you!
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Look I am constantly in this situation with my boyfriend away for months at a time. At first I was in the same boat. I waited constantly by the phone just in case he called, didnt leave the house and cried a lot because I missed him.
It does get better! Even when he is away now, and its been 9 years that we have been together, I still miss him, but I have learned to deal with it.
I just make sure that when he is away my mobile is fully charged, and that his band mates have my number in case anything happens, which it has and which I have been on the first plane out.
As much as I love him, I understand that he has a job to do and that the only way he can do his job is by being away for long periods of time. It doesnt make it any easier but you have to occupy yourself with something else!
I started my own business. It occupies all my free time while he is away and when he is home, I can take as much time off as I like to be with him. I have also taken on rescue dogs who need loads of special attention and lots of time. So my mind is focussed on something else other than the fact that I miss him. Doesnt make me love him any less! Just allows me to handle the loneliness a lot better.
You are young, so you will have your friends. Throw yourself into your college work. Take on a part time job which will let you meet new people and have an active social life. Again it wont make you love him any less by moving on with things. You will be there when he comes home and you can take time off college and work, because you have put the time in, and saved money from your work!
Think of positive ways to deal with the loneliness! Dont make yourself upset by constantly thinking, "he's away", "where is he", "I miss him"!!!! Think of "he's away and I'll be able to take time off college when he comes home, because all my work will be up to date".
Positive!!!! Trust me, it is hard at first, but time does make it easier!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (20 December 2007):
Honey,
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, but you can't put all of your hopes and dreams on one person and make them the person responsible for your happiness. Happiness comes from within. It's not fair to him and it's not doing you any good either. You are going to drive him crazy by being so clingy. You need to figure out why you get panic attacks, period. Sad would be a normal reaction, panicky is not. It's not because he is away. It's something else inside of you that is causing you to feel this out of control. People in relationships need to spend time apart for work, family and other reasons! You have to be able to be happy whether you are with him or not, otherwise how else can you get through a work week and live an independent life? It's time to seek out a counselor and get to the bottom of these insecurities. You need to be in control of your own life in order to be happy. AND don't worry about seeking out help! Everybody needs a little help every now and then. Take care Sweetie!
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