A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'm a jealous girlfriend, I get jealous for the most stupid things... I can't help the way I feel but I know if I don't stop this now, I'll ruin my relationship with my boyfriends. I love him and I know he love me too. Things I get jealous of:- when he gets super friendly with other female friends, like hugging them, or kisses on the cheeks.- The girl he had sex with in the past before he met me, and they remain friends. She have a boyfriend now, and they all hang out together... When I see my boyfriend talking to her or closer (just as friends) I get jealous... Cos I can't stop thinking about their past.- Girls who hit on him when we are out... and he likes to flirt (by talking back to them) but with no intention. I get jealous...- His ex gf, the common friends we hang out with knew his ex and they often talk about her...I know it's my problem of jealousy and I want to fix this. I have no reason to accuse him in anything, I know he love me and care for me a lot.Please help to get over my jealousy.
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 What started this jealousy off for you?
How long have you been with your bf now?
I used to be extremely jealous and possessive in my long term relationship and a lot of it stemmed from the fact that I had cause and had been hurt in the past so it was to do with my own insecurities about the way I looked and how much weight I had gained.
When you have an attractive bf and he is a bit of a flirt which a lot of men are, (by no means categorising every male here), they enjoy the female attention as we women enjoy male attention. It is natural and it is the way of the world.
His ex is just that, his ex so why be jealous of her. You are the one with him, you are the one he loves and spends time with.
It social surroundings he is not going to sit around and be rude by not talking to anyone.
Are you scared he is going to finish with you or hurt you in any way (emotionally) I mean. Have you been hurt in the past?
If you continue with the possessiveness and jealousy you will end up pushing him away to do exactly what you don't want him to do and that is just plan silly.
Trying just spending some one on one time together and go out for a picnic in a park and relax.
Don't be bitter and twisted at this age, enjoy spending time with him and don't constantly fret over what might be.
You are wasting time and you will eventually make yourself ill with the stress of it all.
Try to think of fun things to do together and just spend some time alone for a short while doing whatever.
If all else fails perhaps you need to talk to a counsellor and tell your bf that you are prepared to go and see someone about this as you don't want to lose him or push him away and he may even suggest coming with you, even if it is for one session, I think it may help.
We are too long dead so enjoy life right now and don't worry about tomorrow or what might be. Life is for the living so don't go around with a sour face, you are young and vibrant and you have a man who wants to be with you and who loves you.
He is yours and don't forget that. Others may want him but he is your bf at the end of the day and he chose to be with YOU!!!! Repeat that to yourself every day OK.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 There is a great article on the net called, Jealousy and the Abyss. I read it over and over, and it helped me deal with jealousy issues. I would suggest to start with that.
Also, most sites with information about polyamory (open relationships) and swingers have entire resources on jealousy. I am NOT suggesting to go that way with your boyfriend at all. But the resources there might be of help to you. -FBK
...............................
|
