A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay. here it goes. i get way to attached. way to quickly. and honoestly it kills me to let someone go. like right away ill see someone and wanna get to know them and talk to them. and i get attached and like them. and i get played or something like that. and it kills me because i care about them and i wanna help them. but like i dont know its weird. i just wanna know how to not get so attached so quickly so i dont get crushed. and once im attached how do i forget about them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow thank you guys so much! this helped and i feel a lot better knowing how to react. thank you you guys are miracles!
A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (5 June 2011):
I know the feeling when you want to help someone but sometimes they don't want to be helped. You can't change a person so don't try. I'd take angelDlite's advice and look at what your needs are and what you feel you are missing. Once you come to terms with this in your own mind you should start to see how to improve things for yourself. Hope it goes well. J
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): Its hard to change your feelings because they are learnt over time. The way you feel comes from a whole range of different life experiences.The easier option is to learn how to get girls to become attached to you just as quick as you get attached to them. You might find it hard to control your feelings but you will find it easier adopting a few new ways of doing things that can get you a better result.If you want help on this from a proffessional then message me and I can pass on some knowledge and links to good resources.
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A
female
reader, Y_v +, writes (5 June 2011):
 I have the same problem. It seems like i fall in love virtually everyday. It's so strange.What i wanted to suggest is the one way you could get over someone as quickly as you got into them is by finding someone else. I know it sounds really ruthless but the fact is that is basically how it goes most of the time. Everyone eventually finds a gap in their heart and the only way possible is to fill that gap as soon as possible with someone else. The only problem with this is that you need to find an 'appropriate gap filler' if that makes sense. Don't fill it in with someone you know you're going to get bored of easily. Don't find a rebound. Find someone that could potentially make you happy. Get to know that person really well, find their faults, and when you do? do you think you can deal with those faults easily? All this type of 'research' is what will help you not get attached too fast. Be a critique :) not a simon cowell type but u know.Hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (5 June 2011):
 '''Many consequences flow from this sorry state of affairs. For one, co-dependents become addicted to emotional pain and to unhealthy relationships. They are drawn to people who are not available to them, or who reject them or abuse them. They often develop unhealthy relationships that eventually become unbearable. Because relationships hurt so much, co-dependents are more in touch with the dream of how the relationship COULD be, rather than the reality of the situation.
The co-dependent is often immobilized by romantic obsessions. They search for the "magical quality" in others to make them feel complete. They might idealize other people and endow them with powerful symbolism.''''
does this sound like you? google 'co-dependency' to learn more. maybe you are subconsciously attracting and attracted to people that are a bit more risky, they are a challenge that can hook lots of people. you are not alone in this so don't feel bad. with personality traits/disorders like this you will very often find that the problem stems from your child hood (- your personality will have been shaped by the time you were seven years old) so look at your parents marriage/relationships. look into yourself to find the CAUSE for your behaviour first of all and then you will have a good chance of fixing it.
build up your self esteem and your own social life so you won't feel the need to become so involved in the life of someone else, coz as you know, you then feel like crap and feel so empty when they leave
x
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