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I get a tingly feeling when I see a naked woman but nothing when I see a naked man. Am I gay?

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Question - (11 February 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I really do not want to ask this question cos I am disgusted by it but it is the truth and has left me pondering if I have any interests in women. I get a tingly feeling down there when I see a females breast but am indifferent if i see a naked man. Is this normal. Could this mean I could be bisexual. I have never though of having sex with a female and it has never crossed my mind as i often follow the law of physics that states likepoles repel while opposite poles attract. Not that i have anything against homosexuals. But i would be ashamed and disgusted if it turns out am becoming ....OH MY GOD HELP!!!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (13 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with YouWish - don't worry about labels. They are NOT important in life.

Women's bodies are glorious. (personally, I think men's are too) but being aroused or attracted to a piece of art or a picture doesn't DICTATE your "sexual preference".

Consider this. In our society who a woman LOOK has always been linked to her "value". Where as a man can be looking like a troll, yet still considered virile or attractive.. if he held a position of power, money or land.

OPEN any magazine and you will see WOMEN - parts of women, lips, hands, legs... you name it.. FEMALE body-parts SELLS products. Products for females AND males. WE are DAILY bombarded with images of various female body-parts.

Consider how MUCH art is out there picturing women. Of all sizes, shapes, colors - what is NOT to like?

So instead of worrying if you could, perhaps, maybe ... be gay or bisexual - enjoy life. And if you see a picture of a naked woman and it makes you tingle.. OK - there is nothing BAD in that. There IS no shame.

I have read that MANY straight women enjoy gay porn (woman/woman) because the focus is ON the woman (both/either) and THEIR pleasure, unlike the common variety porn where no matter HOW many women you add... the FOCUS is on the man.

So chill, relax. You are NOT abnormal.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2015):

There is nothing disgusting about your feelings! I am a 28 year old female and I feel exactly the same as you. I have found I am more sexually attracted to women but relationship/emotionally attracted to men. I'm not sure if this makes me lesbian or Bi etc, but I don't care! I found this out by sleeping with and spending time with both sexes, you should try the same. No matter what you discover, no sexuality is disgusting or wrong

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (12 February 2015):

YouWish agony auntWhy on earth would you be ashamed and disgusted to have sexual feelings toward women?? Being homosexual is just as beautiful as being heterosexual! It's about being yourself!

You are young -- you're discovering and exploring your sexuality. To repress yourself because you don't think you "should" have these feelings would be a travesty and will harm you more than just acknowledging that those feelings are there.

Don't worry about labels now. But don't freak out because you have desires! Nothing you've ever said is disgusting and shameful. My best friend is a lesbian, and she is everything that is good and noble.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2015):

Just speaking from experience. I too have been aroused by naked women before. But am not in any rush to look at a naked man. I play it off as simply being more familiar and comfortable with the female body as it's what I'm used to. But I have no desire to have sex with women. I'm attracted to men.

I think it's normal. I would think if you're attracted to women and want to date them or imagine yourself having sex with a woman, perhaps then you might be bisexual or gay.

But you're (we're, as I'm around the same age) still young and probably still discovering new things about yourself. To be honest the female body is easier on the eyes. Everything's internal so nothing's too gross. And I'm not trying to be mean towards males, it's just I've heard some of them even admit that a penis is not the most attractive thing out there and they know it. haha

Anyways, I wouldn't fret too much about it. If you're still attracted to men normally then I'm sure you're heterosexual. It doesn't have to be naked men either, just men in general.

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony auntIf you have nothing against homosexuals why would you be "ashamed" and "disgusted" if you are gay/bisexual?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2015):

That is too bad that it is something you feel disgusted by. I know how hard society can view anything that is off the beaten path.

It might help if you talked to your friends about it.

One of my best friends had a lesbian relationship as a teenager with this butchy looking girl lol. It was weird for all of us (her friends) but we still loved her. And we accepted her new girlfriend. She didn't really care what others thought. She says she was in love. This is crazy, but I think boys found it kind of sexy. She also claims that she had some sexual encounter with another one of our girl friends. But I don't know if I believe her cause this other girl friend of ours is not only really girly but she is also very religious. And my friend who said this is known to stretch the truth lol.

As an adult I know a lot of girls who are in a serious lesbian relationship. Girly girls that you would never even suspect of being a lesbian. They are open about it to their friends but not to their families.

Unfortunately it is not something that can be smoothly brought up at the dinner table in the presence of family without awkwardness and possible judgment. That can be difficult.

I was at a party one time on New Year's Eve and one of my best friends was making out with another girl in the middle of the party. It was kind of funny. I didn't know she had lesbian tendencies lol. Nobody judged her. At the end of the day, nobody really cares. It's her life. Same with you, it's your life.

It's really not that taboo. And I am next to positive that if you brought this up to your girlfriends, they'd be understanding and they may even surprise you and reveal they feel the same way.

You know how parents are so I can understand if this is a topic you choose not to discuss with them. But your friends are different. I think you'd feel better about this if you told a close friend or friends. Most likely, they'll support you and make you feel okay about it. So you can stop feeling like a freak! Cause you are not, it's all in your head.

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