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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Three girls on the bus the other day told my daughter that her boyfriend was cheating on her. One of the girls has a brother that I think he is a little bit interested in my daughter and I think that she was trying to see if maybe my daughter was interested in him or not or trying to put a good word in for her brother. Anyway when we got back to the school, (I am the mother and also the bus driver so i heard the converstation) my daughter asked me what would I do. I said right off the bat not thinking, that I would break it off with him. To be honest I was thinking about what her father had done to me in the past and I vowed that if I ever found out that he was cheating again I would leave him. The correct advice should have been you need to sit down and talk to him and find out if it is true or not. I didn't think about it anymore besides one of my students that normally rides my bus but stayed afterschool and is also one of there friends came up to me and was talking to us and I didn't think anymore about it. Then the next morning on the bus, He gets on (her boyfriend), there friends get on, they are all sitting there and laughing and talking. Then the ladies get on that told my daughter the information. All of a sudden she looks at him in front of there friends and ask him who are the girls and about the cheating didn't give a chance to answer and tells him she is tired of the bull it is over. She comes home that night upset and regrets what she has done. The next day he gets on the bus and goes to the back of the bus, just looks at her as her goes by. I kept him on and talked a little told him if he liked her tell her cause she does like him. He told me that it was a cruel joke what those girls had done. That afternoon they got on the bus my daughter told him that she still liked him and according to her he said the same. He sat behind her as always. I told her she needed to talk to him. So they finally sat together and talked some. Then he had to get off the bus. She thought they were working things out. He didn't answer her calls all weekend or text her all weekend. He won't talk to her and she has tried several times. He looks at her like he is so mad or hurt I don't know exactly. He doesn't know that I gave her the advice. I thought that she had forgot about it and was going to watch and see what she could find out with her own eyes. She just blurted it out infront of everyone. That afternoon someone told one of the girls who was sitting in the front of the bus that they had broke up. I drew the conclusion that what was told was a lie after what she had said to the person who told her. She said "I hope that they didn't break up over what I said." I am sorry that I gave my daughter the wrong advice. I should have told her to talk to her boyfriend and ask questions. Please help and give me some advice on what I should do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): it sounds like you have good communication with her. Relax, you are doing something right. Apologize and go on. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe boy and girl are still good friends and she found out he was cheating with 2 other girls. It has been a trust issue all the time with them.
He now has another girlfriend. Also to the lady telling me to put earphones in and listen to music while driving very bad advice. Do u want your child on a school bus and she not know what is going on with your child on the bus? Your daughter could be seriously hurt or raped if the driver Is not paying attention. What about your son he can be severely beaten. Driver would not know cause they would not be paying attention. How is she going to protect your child. She is not but 15 she needs guidance. Not to be turned footlose to do what she wants monday thru sunday every night she is at home. She is not out partying she is not allowed and as for her grades she is ranked number 1 out of 271 with a weighted gpa of 4.5.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Go and appologise to your daughter, tell her you are human and you were wrong.
Ask to talk to the boyfriend and explain the misunderstanding, and how it was your interference that provided the final straw.
Then sit back, leave them to it, and swear, never, ever, ever, to get involved with kiddies drama's and upset again...
So sorry mum, we are human and we fuck up some of the time, so don't be too hard on yourself.
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female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 I think you should be encouraging your daughter to focus on school and become an independent educated woman. NOT, thinking about silly things like boys at this time. Her being well educated and independent will give her better options in the future than thinking about men. If someone does cheat on her she will walk away knowing she can support herself. This is the best thing you can pass on to her now. Boys/men will always be around.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): The other two are right. Let your daughter live her life...without you overhearing. If she coes to you...thats great, but learn to listen more and let her talk it out. Usually they will talk until they realize what they should do without much input from us mothers. And above all she needs you to be her MOTHER not a best friend. Its a tough job....but rewarding. hugs, mal
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Absolutely what askoldersister said.
Remove yourself and any of your angst from the equation.
Boys and Men hate being humiliated in public - perhaps you can pass that along - and the fact that any time she has relationship problems she should discuss them in a private manner and not in a public forum.
Any apology (from you to her or from her to her bf) should be given once, twice, three times and as many times as it takes in a heartfelt, genuine fashion with the addendum that you will never do said offense again.
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female
reader, amanda765 +, writes (11 September 2010):
since you already got involved you need to fix rthings..tell he boyfriend...wen no ones around that you told her to break up with him bc you believe the rumour and tht ur sorry...it may help him to kno that it wasn't ur daughters idea...and next time...try to stay out :)
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Nothing. You didn't know it was a lie. If anyone asked me what do you do with a cheater I would say dump him. You don't need to tell her boyfriend you gave her that advice. Leave it alone to those three girls. The only thing you can say to your daughter is never trust her friends too much. If she could listen to her friends and not trust her boyfriend that means he is not that special to her anyway. When a person is so in love they would defend her lover to death.
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