A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We're both 18 and after nearly two years, we're over. I gave him my heart, my virginity, my dignity, my everything! He took it and left! I have no idea what I'm going to do without him! I based my whole life plan on him! I was in love with him, still am! And I know he loved me, too, but he...stopped. He was my first love, I thought he was "the one". How do I deal with this?Will I ever love and be loved like this again? Will I ever get over him? I've been crying non-stop about this since it happened (two days ago). Help me! Please! Does the first love's break-up always hurt this much? I feel like my heart isn't even in my chest anymore. I think I threw it up a while ago. (Not literally.) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blackberry008 +, writes (30 September 2008):
 It is normal. I remember breaking up with my first boyfriend who was my first love. It hurts too much and we never even had sex. I also felt what you felt like throwing up my heart. I also cried so hard like someone in the family died. You will learn to let go of him, but it takes time, especially when he is your first love.
But I want to know why he left?
Can you tell me.
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 breaking up with your first love is always the hardest..day after day you'll learn how to live without him..but you will never forget him because hr's your first love..but soon you'll be feeling better (at least that is what i still tell myself after breaking up with my first love)..you'll fine another guy..who really deserves you..
good luck XXXX
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A
female
reader, Intimate Answers +, writes (28 September 2008):
 First loves are particulary difficult to move through because you have never been through the process to learn that you WILL eventually stop hurting ...and you will! :-)
When a love relationship ends and YOU haven't chosen to end it - it can leave you devestated and down right lost.
Now is the time to focus on yourself and take extra care of yourself... Remember you are actually grieving the loss of a very important person in your life - someone you planned your future around. Feel the pain - allow yourself time to cry and come to terms with your life change. When you are ready - set some goals for yourself and design a new plan that anyone who comes into your life will need to work with.
Although you'll have moments that may feel like you will never get through this, you WILL eventually be able to pick up the pieces and move forward. You may find it helpful to write your feelings down each time you have an emotional surge. Even if you destroy your writings later but it can feel really good to unload.
Examine the relationship and figure out 'what it came to your life to teach you' - file that away for future reference so you don't repeat the negatives.
Finally - Here is the most important thing I will tell you - No one can TAKE your DIGNITY unless you hand it over! You are a young woman who loved and gave your all... There is no shame in that. Hold your head up high and realize how much you are worth and that you deserve to be with someone who realizes it too!
MUCH LOVE AND MANY BLESSINGS!
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A
female
reader, mattie90 +, writes (28 September 2008):
 oh hun im so sry i went thru ths 2 i dated a guy 4 3 1/2 years he was my first love n it tore me apart n i still think abt him from time 2 time but u do get over it i promise it might take awhile but u will get ovr it i got over it within a month n ive dated 3 guys since thn n they ddnt last tht long but now im in love with ths amazing guy n i kno 4 a fact tht were guna stay 2gether 4evr hes asked me 2 marry him were tryn 2 have a kid 2gether things will get better 2 get ur mind off of him hang out with alot of ur girlfriends it works 4 me hope i helpd let me kno how thngs went
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A
male
reader, kinkydude  +, writes (28 September 2008):
yeah! first heartbreaks are the toughest, but you'll move on. Its generally the case that first loves don't last. Some go through many heartbreaks or relationships before they find the "one". You're really young, and you will heal, and future heartbreaks will never feel as bad, but don't ever be afraid to give your heart to love just because of this hurt. Eventually you'll find a man who will give you the love you deserve, and you will love him the same way. But the pain you're suffering, is something we've all been through. Its like having the flu.You just have to wait it out. Pretty soon you'll feel better again, though his memory will probably remain with you, the pain of what happened will eventually cease to exist. You may through phases of hating him, or being angry. Eventually you'll forgive, and forget, and in a years time you may be ready to start again.
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