A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my fiancé and I got engaged in June this year. We had a baby together late last year. We have trust issues. Him because o his very serious ex relationship, and me because he is naturally a flirt and used to be a player before his ex. He used to work in a restaurant where he would met a friend that liked to go out and drink, etc. after him coming home piss-ass drunk one night at 3am I said no more of this. I was originally trying to be the cool girlfriend and let him hang out with this guy at a bar because the guy was leaving town for a year. I told him its not a good idea for us to drink without one another. Well he ended up doing the bar scene coming home drunk a few more times and so I left him for a few days. We have a lot of love for each other but a lot of problems. I came back shortly and we made up. Well this friend is a bad influence he is a player who screws around with all the women they work with. My fiancé is a natural flirt who jokes about other women all the time jokingly. Well today I was showing our baby pictures of different landscapes he had on his phone and came across 3 pictures of his female coworkers butts at work. He quit that job months ago so why he has those I'm not sure. He said he had no idea they were on his phone and didnt even take them and that he has never seen those before. He called me crazy and just starte laughing but I don't find this acceptable. To me considering the type of person he made friends with at his restaurant could he have fallen in line with this man and started screwing around with the coworkers?
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at work, co-worker, drunk, engaged, flirt, his ex, player Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 I agree with all of the other aunts, except I wouldn't bother having a talk about what's appropriate. If you have to explain something as universally understood as this then you're with the wrong guy.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 It could be that his sleazy friend took the photos hoping for a little fireworks between you once you discovered them. Could be he took them and is just playing dumb about them to look "innocent". His friend is a bad influence, but birds of a feather tend to flock together. They are probably more alike than you realize. Your man just happens to be in a relationship while his friend is not. I suggest you start coming with him when he goes out. It's time to bust this twosome before real damage is done. But be cool about it. Act like you just want to party with them and it's not really to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't go too far. Hopefully his wreckless friend will indeed leave pretty soon, then your man will go back to being normal with you again.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Whether he is actually messing around with any of these girls is not the issue...yet. The issue is that a man with a girlfriend should not have pictures of other girls butts on his phone. Then again, those who think porn is the most wonderful thing on the planet might tell you you are overreacting and that this is ok.
I do not think it is ok and agree with HoneyPie.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Of course he called you crazy.. that is one of the typical "I got caught" responses... "I have no idea how they got on my phone..." I call the BS card.
It's called defection. Making YOU the "bad guy" for something he did and he thought he could get away with. That way you go on the defense for a bit and he feels like he won.
So either his friend took the pictures with your fiances phone, someone random did it for a lark.. or your fiance did this but won't own up to it.
Since they have been on his phone for more then a month.. I think it's the latter.
I would SERIOUSLY have talk with your fiance about lying and what's appropriate and what is NOT appropriate in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 He doesn't know how those pictures got into his mobile? Do you really believe that? He belongs in Dumpville, in my opinion.
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