A
female
age
30-35,
*oungmum89
writes:Yesterday i looked at my dad's phone because the last while he's been very moody with me an my mam an other siblings, what i found was heartbreaking he's texting this girl and in the texts she's saying she loves him, i dont know what to do, i cant get it out of my head. i have a little son and he adores him i would hate for him to leave my family but i cant keep this to myself, if he decides to tell us and leaves us i will never speak to him again and i will never let my son see him again. i know its wrong but i dont feel sorry for him i hate him right now!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, youngmum89 +, writes (1 June 2010):
youngmum89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question well after reading everyones answers i thought about it, i decided i needed to talk to someone about it so i decided to talk to my bf about it after that i felt better i dont feel sad anymore i decided not to say anythin to my dad its upto him to tell everyone not me so thanks everyone for your comments greatly appreciated
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): there is only 1 thing to do and this is to confront your father AND tell your mother. if te other woman is already 'in love with granddad then it means that the relationship is almost definately sexual. bottom line, your dad may be on the verge of leaving your mother. so she needs to know asap. it would really be lousy if you knew, perhaps confronted him and then all of a sudden 9to your mum) he leaves. at least if she knows now it gives her options. it doesn't matter what the status of their marriage is. cheating is cheating and when you extend the goalpost for any reason then it means that you are condoning it. so no matter what the marriage status is let both your mother and father know that you know. you do not want your mum to think that you knew all along but did not tell her. it means then that you turned a blind eye to his wrongdoing. so the sooner you tell the better. Better? yes, in the end it is all about being upfront and all about being transparent.
regarding cutting you father out of your life. this is your perogative and if you feel strongly then so be it. i will not tell you that he is your father and so forth. you see the effects of cheating is so devastating, not only to the other spouse but to the children as well. it doesn't matter how old ones children are, cheating and divorce will always affect them. and you will be affected. just be strong for your mother and be there during her time of need. she will need you. as for your father if he destroys his family's life then he can fend for himself.
...............................
A
female
reader, loops  +, writes (28 May 2010):
I agree with C.Grant. Cheating is never acceptable, but you do not know the reasons why or what has happened fully between your father and mother, so do not judge immediately.
I would speak to your father and explain that it has hurt you and allow him to speak his mind if he wishes, however remember this is essentially none of your business as far as what he does personally about it. However if it bothers you I suggest you request, if you feel you should inform your mother that he does it, or you will have to as you don't feel comfortable keeping this information. However like c.grant states do this with some compassion he is after all just as human as you are.
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 While I seldom condone cheating, I want to remind you that you have no idea what is going on in your parents' marriage. So when you speak to your father, please try to do so with compassion. Yes he might be an evil troll, or he may be someone who is in a lot of pain and reacted to that pain in an inappropriate way. As much as kids tend to overlook the fact, parents are human -- they don't necessarily have all the answers about how to conduct a successful relationship, and they make mistakes too.
It is appropriate for you to tell your father what you found. He doesn't owe you an explanation, but give him the opportunity to offer one. What you do after that conversation is up to you.
...............................
|
