A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 29. Recently out of a 7 year relationship ending in him cheating on me, met a pretty decent guy online and have been dating him for 5 months now. He and I have so much in common, cheated on, faithful in previous relationships, love the same type of music and movies and tv shows, rather stay in than go out places (but do go out once in a while to change up) He wants marriage and possible more children, as I want marriage and children. (previous relationship did not want any of this) A month after dating, (already have alot of feelings for him) I found out he is the uncle (by marriage) of a good friend from high school. (He was married before with 2 children, however the wife passed away 6 years ago) I asked if she had a problem because I did not know. She said it was a little weird, because he was older (hes 40) and was married to her aunt. I hesitated going on with the relationship but decided to keep going because I liked him ALOT. I told him what she said and he went to her other aunt and told her and I guess she said something to my friend and my friend came back to me and said Yeah its weird, but Im glad for you guys because youre adults and can do whatever. However, since then, she hasnt really spoken to me a whole lot. Last I heard from her was the birthday of the aunt that passed away and at first didnt realize it, but when I did it made me wonder how come she decided to text me that day. She and I are friends, but I wouldnt consider us best friends. We talk through text alot (or did) and never hang out. But I also like this guy and feel we are beyond perfect for each other. Am I overthinking this whole thing with my friend? I understand uncle by marriage, but its also been 6 years since her aunt passed.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 July 2014):
 one of you is overthinking it...
he's not related to her.. he was married to her deceased aunt and he's entitled to be happy.
after a certain age, a gap like yours is very workable.
I would say she's not your bestie... respect her need for space... and go on with your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): I think your over thinking it. As long as your happy with this guy then stay with him. The friend does sound like more of an acquaintance and bedsides if she was a true friend she would just be happy that you moved on from the past and found a good guy who makes you happy. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 Yes, either you are overthinking this or SHE is overthinking it.
The man WAS married to her aunt six yers ago, - then he moved on with his life and decided to date again, and ended up with someone your friend knows.
That would be weird if it had happened in Cairo, ... or Mexico City... you know ,those places with 18 millions of inhabitants. But if you live in a medium sized city, or ,more,in a small town, really, how weird can that be ? Not weirder than bumping into an ex schholmate at the local McDonalds.
The town I am originary from is not exactly a rural hamlet (180.000 people ) and yet, any time I am introduced to someone socially, eventually it always turns out that we are somehow "connected " because "my ex used to work with their ex " etc., stuff like that. You know, the famous 6 degree of separation.
Plus, personally maybe I would not even call this a friend, more of a social aquaintance. If you never make time to hang out, and you just swap texts ...!
I don't know, I exchange PMs with some of the Aunts here, and if I ever should, say ,go back to the States and end up dating ... another Aunt's relative, I would feel it's weird in the sense of " how curious !" , not in the sense of " how creepy ".
Don't tell me you'd actually think of breaking up with someone you like so much, because his niece BY MARRIAGE , feels " strange " about it ?...
Don't go reading what's probably is not there and it's just a coincidence, but, IF something were there , so what- she'll get over it. If THIS is what she can afford to lose sleep ( and friendships ) over- then she is a very lucky girl !
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