A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I was on my dads computer and I found sexual escort websites...I also found pornography on his cell phone. I am really worried that he is using these escorts and really don't know what to do. I would rather not confront him but its one of those things that is stuck in my mind.
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female
reader, qwerty6  +, writes (19 July 2011):
I think a lot of people here are being quite cruel to the poster. You are only young, and are understandably hurt and confused at finding such things on your fathers computer. You have everu right to be a bit worried, any child would be.
First things first, some couples allow eachother to look at pornography. So your Mother may be okay with your Father looking at pictures of women in a sexual nature. some women are not okay with this, but I'm sure if your mother wasn't okay with it she would have found out by now and had a word with your Father.
There is a difference between pornography and actual escorts though, but like I say, if your dad hasn't even erased his history on his computer then no doubt your mother will discover what he's been doing or looking at, and she will deal with this. So try not to worry too much, i'm sure your parents will resolve their problems if there is one :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): Do nothing. You have no idea what the whole story is here. You have no idea what both your parents may be doing. The assumptions in this thread are many.
You should not be snooping his computer.
I think there's some really bad advice in this thread so be careful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): Have a talk with your father. Just listen to everyone telling u your fathers activities are non of your business. It is! Only here on DC are we not accountable for our actions. We are living in a dysfunctional society and we don't care for our actions. OP I believe that as parents we have a duty to be honest with our kids. Ask your father what he is up to: u will be surprised by his actions: either he will deny and hide his sexual activity OR he will get his act together. Porn is not a crime but using escorts while married... Bigger bigger problem.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (15 July 2011):
 You can privately talk to HIM about what you saw and how it disturbed you.
If you do not have permission to use your Dad's computer, be prepared that he might be angry.
Talking to him about it and why it bothered you privately would show a lot of maturity.
He may be upset that you found out,but if you believe he may be cheating on your Mother, I think you have a right to speak up.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2011):
 I'm so sorry but this is really NONE of YOUR business.
PORN is not illegal (unless it's child porn) and there is nothing you can do about it.
Escorts while not appetizing to most of us are for some a fact of life for some people...
It's really your dad's partner's concern not yours.
best advice DO NOT SNOOP on dad's computer. Would you want him reading your diary?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): if your dad was prying on your computer you would be mad wouldn't you?
so stop prying on his computer.
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A
male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN +, writes (15 July 2011):
 DO NOTHING, really you need to do nothing! He is not doing you or anyone else harm, so you do need to leave him be.
You also don't lay awake at night worrying about it, your old man is doing nothing sinister or against the law. It's just his business, nothing more.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (15 July 2011):
i would not tell your mum about this just try to forget about it pretend you havent saw it you could split your family up if you told
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): I completely disagree with the other answers, especially that of Cerberus. Yes, you're father is an adult, BUT this does affect you. Especially at this point your father is one of the biggest figures in your life. He has and will continue shaping the way you view men, sexual and romantic relationships.
You do have every right to be concerned because your family life is your business. It saddens me that so many people don't think that they have a responsibility to their children not to cheat (or leave porn in plain sight). Our society has become so SELFISH!!!
Listen, I do agree that you shouldn't talk about this with your mom. But maybe you should talk about this with your dad. I know it's embarrassing, but you can say that you saw these things and that they upset you.
Let him know that he can't do whatever he wants without repercussions.
That being said, your dad is probably just looking and not cheating:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): You do nothing, he's your dad. You just have to get over because it's not a big deal. It's none of your business either. He's an adult and you should respect his privacy.
Stop snooping around your dads personal stuff. I'm not implying that you were intentionally looking through his private stuff but now you know there is private stuff on these things don't go near them again.
Most guys have some kind of porn stash. It means nothing. You're a teenager, just get back to enjoying your life and let them worry about their private affairs.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): HUH? You are 13 to 15 years old and you want to confront your dad about his computer activity and his possible activities with escorts? I'm going to say it for your dad.....go to your room and leave 'grown folks' business alone NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (15 July 2011):
 I know it's worrying, but you shouldn't let it worry you. I mean it is something to worry about, but it's something that has nothing to do with you. That's for him and your mother to work out(I'll assume they're together). Whatever he's doing will come to light eventually so he will get what he deserves sooner or later. So sit back and enjoy being a teenager and let them handle it. Hope I helped.
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