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female
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anonymous
writes: My b/f and i were planning on going away for a long weekend. I usually do not see him on wednesdays but since we were leaving thursday morning I saw him straight from work so we can leave in the morning. I get in his car..and i see a plastic bag in the back..we arrive at his house and he was busy doing some things and i see a magazine in his bag which i have seen before so i just took it out and started looking at it but i also see a shirt again..and this is a shirt i know he wears going out and one i have seen him wear when we go out. Of course I see this is as weird just as i did previously.I let it go for the sake of the weekend.During the weekend I casually put on the shirt in the room as if i was cold in order to try to bring it up nicely(im trying to be careful to not make him mad)..i said at first do you wear this shirt for work? HE ANSWERS NO, it would get ruined. I said i havent seen you wear this since we have been out and he says there is no reason to unless we were. I then say a few minutes later oh did you have to wash this before we went away, he said no i think i found this in my closet..i then bring up..you brought this to work with you last week and he said he doesnt think so..i said it again a few minutes later and he said you keep saying that, it must be true. He then said it might have been the white and blue one, i dont care if that gets dirty...BUT I KNOW IT WASN'T...and in 2 and a half years i have never seen him wear a t-shirt and then another shirt over it unbuttoned to work. He usually just wear a t-shirt or shirt with jeans.I let it go after that because i didnt know what else i can say without being completely accusational. BUT i really need advice because i truly dont know what to think but doesnt this see somewhat odd/suspicious to anyone else?He didnt even have a story prepared which may be good or bad...like if he met up with some girl..wouldnt he know to say oh i brought the wrong shirt with me that day, thats why it was there..he basically just said no i think i found this in my closet and then told me it might have been the white and blue one i saw and i dont care if that one gets dirty..but never have i seen him after work with a t-shirt and shirt over with(unbottoned collar type) in order for him to do the work he does.And it wasn't like it was another t-shirt just in case the weather was a bad..it was a short sleeved collared type that he would wear over a t-shirt if going somewhere.I just dont know what to think. I dont want to believe something is going on. I truly dont. Write back.-Thank You. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): He wouldnt bring a shirt during work hours in order to meet some guy for lunch..that wouldnt even make sense to me.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 Ok, I don't get it. You found a shirt in his car he wears when you go out. IS the shirt that special? Are you concerned he went out without telling you because you found the shirt. Instead of beating around the bush, ask him. You've already come across like a detective. Ask him this....You never wear this shirt except when you go out. It was in the car. Why was it there?....
I don't know if you should ask or not but it will stop you from continuing down the road of doubting him.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 Hi
How did you get from a shirt in his car to him having an affair? So maybe he went out with his mates, when he wasnt with you, so wore the shirt then? Why does it have to involve another woman? Or am i missing something here?
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Hmmm...doesn't sound like too much of an issue, unless ofcourse there are other issues. If you've been cheated on before it's really hard to trust anyone again, especially another BF. Just make a mental note, but don't dwell on it too much. If another incident happens, ask him straight up, if he reacts defensively, that could be a sign, as long as you haven't asked him straight up questions back to back, that would just annoy him and give him reason to act defensively. In other words, just ask, dancing around questions just waste time and leaves you feeling more suspicious if you don't get the answer you're looking for the first time around. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): its a shirt get over it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Have you written another post just like this one about a month ago with the same problem?? Dude, it's a shirt. I don't think you are ever going to get the answer you are looking for unless you start providing information that is actually suspicious. But all this because of a shirt is ridiculous. I do really think you are being ridiculous. My bf came home five minutes later than he ususally does, do you think he is cheating on me?? The sky looked pale blue today instead of it's usual sky blue, do you think that means my bf is cheating?? My bf had a headache last night. Do you think this means he is cheating?? My bf ate a donut on his way to work this morning and I saw the crumbs on his car seat to prove it. Could this mean he is cheating on me??
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): In my opinion, it's just a bit of paranoia you've got there. Just because your boyfriend put his shirt in his car it doesn't make him a cheater. Why don't you just flat out ask him why his shirt was in his car? Ask it purely out of curiousity, not as an accusion. Skirting around this issue and being mad at him for nothing is just going to frustrate you more and more and probably annoy the heck out of your boyfriend. I bet he has no clue what you're talking about. Try being up-front and just ask him what his shirt was doing in a bag in his car. If he gets mad at you for asking a simple question like that, then maybe he does have something to hide. But, if he has nothing to hide, I'm sure he'll be happy to answer your question. Best of luck!
-RJGirl
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