A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I had our first anniversary about a week ago, and now we've been together for a year I find myself freaking out about being in a long-term relationship. I feel guilty every time he touches me and I can't look him in the eye. What's going on and how can I set things right?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 In my humble opinion, you don't really love this guy. When you're happy with someone you don't worry about how long it will last.
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 There may be very many reasons why you are feeling this way and without any background knowledge into your personality or your previous relationships, I could never accurately pinpoint why it is you feel the way you do. All you can really do is take my suspicions and analys yourself to see which one it may be if any.One reason you may feel this way is your age. You may feel that you are too young to be tied down to one person and feel trapped in a relationship which may inhibit your experiences in life or stop you from doing things you would like to do.You may be questioning yourself wether the person you are with is really right for you or if you are wasting his time by staying. "Is this really the man I want to be with for the rest of my life?" "Is he really the best I can do?" If thats the case I have never found this wise to be in a relationship with those doubts. Its unhealthy and you have already shown you care, but not like that.Now that this relationship has matured and has lasted for a year you may feel thatthis really makes you feel voulnerable if something were to break you up. Do you remember how it feels to be single? Are you afraid to be single? Or are you just trying to distance yourself in a sort of preperation not to feel as hurt or devastated if it all goes tits up. You may think is too good to last and you may be waiting for this to end and you may be trying to spare yourself a broken heart.Those are all the things I can think of without knowing you. There may be other factors like a series of bad experiences with relationships. If so you may not trust men. You may not have a good homelife and that in itself proves hard for people to have relationships. Over anything though. You may need to open up to him and tell him how you are feeling. Its important to communicate and by hiding this from him he may take it as something else because he is bound to pick up on these signals your sending him. Dont let him get confused and possibly lose out on a relationship you may indeed want.I hope that helps and I wish you the best.
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