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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm going to try and summarise my situation as much as possible.met 7 months ago.He found my number and starting texting me.we live 8 hours drive away from each other.He was warm and exciting and text me 5/6 a day, telling me what hes' up exchanging romantic messages with me.i have gone down to his city 4 times for both business and pleasure.first time was beautiful, second time was also nice, third time, i felt he was becoming distant, and fourth time i felt very rejected.He continued to text me everyday and once in a while say something romantic, but it wasn't the 5/6 times as before.I asked him why he is pulling away and he said he wasn't. but his actions didn't change.One day, i started feeling very anxious and i sent him a text, saying, i need distance cause i can't just be friends with him.He sent me a text the next day confirming what i said.I told him, i'll send him an e-mail and i feel confused.The e-mail was 2 pages and included everything i liked about him and everything that he has done to make me feel rejected. It was a very serious message but i told him i still liked him, but that if he only wants a friendship, then he needs to back of, but that if he to start again, then we should talk ernestly.He responded to the e-mail by saying, i asked alot of questions and said alot of things and it will take him time to respond to everything, but he will.He said he didn't want to back of, but is that, if thats what i want, he will respect it.that weekend....i sent him a text to say i miss him, but he shouldn't reply.......i didn't hear from him for 2 days.He then sent a text saying his phone wasn't working and that i should have a great week (what a sign!). I responded with You to.The next day, i get a text saying 'Hi" and a very polite 3 text conversation ensued and ended with my asking him about work. that was 2 days ago and he hasn't responded or made contact with me in anyway.I think he backing of, without coming out to say he is.I feel more rejected than ever.I wish he would talk to me and tell me what he feels, cause i could accept that more.to all you guys out there, is he feeling relieved that i'm out of the picture?i'm going to his city this weekend for business (1 night only).Should i contact him for a friendly drink?would that make me look desperate, considering he hasn't contacted me for 2 days.I am also friends with one of his friends. Should i contact the friend, and hang out. Will that make me look like i'm playing games?i miss him and our chats and i feel very sad and hurt.
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female
reader, Adelaide +, writes (16 November 2006):
 I think you are a superstar!! you have already made a move in the right direction, you deserve so much better! please take a friend and make time to have a really good old belly laugh!! I promise you you will be happy again and it will be very soon!If you ever need to talk just get in touchxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAdelaide, annon and Astrid
Thank you very much for responding, and your words of wisdom.
Its been pretty tough and i've spent alot of time crying and going through the emotions.
I definately have decided that i won't be contacting him and i'm fairly certain he won't contact me.
I've put my heart on my sleeve and not played games, so he knows exactly how i feel.
I've put my pride aside, but he doesn't feel that he needs to, or his is too cowardly.
I felt that the least i deserved was the honesty of saying, i no longer like you....but he couldn't even do that.
I won't contact him or his friend when i'm in the city, but instead will enjoy the time alone to be happy or to cry or to self reflect.
Thanks again and if you have any further advice on how i handled this situation, i would welcome it.
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 His way of acting looks to emotinal and little self controlled I think he achieved his goal of having you after him so he lost interest it is up to u to try ti make it workbut I do not recommend too much effort, contact him if you feel like talking or having sex but just for fun darling do not trust it as a lasting raltionship I read a book that recommends answer text mesages as they are sent to u(frequency and text topic, number of words...=
hope this works
have a look arounf there are more guys
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): i can definitely sympathise but 2 days isn't long, its not like he's been ignoring you for 2 months. i would leave it a few more days then text or call him to ask if he's thought anymore about what he wants. if you text him too often he'll feel suffocated, and its true that men like to do the chasing. if you keep busy and arent in contact with him every day soon he'll want to know what your up to and whats going on in your life without him. play it cool, he'll be back.
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A
female
reader, Adelaide +, writes (16 November 2006):
Hi,
I really do feel for you, However, I do feel that you have given this guy to much line he just does not know when to stop taking does he?
You have given him every opportunity to be both honest and forthcoming with his feelings, emails, visits, text messages.
I have to be honest and say if your phone wasn't working and you desperately wanted to be in contact with a certain person, you would move mountains to get your phone repaired/replaced wouldn/t you? I certainly would! he has made no real effort to respond to any of the issues you have raised.
This weekend when you visit his city on business, do not contact him or his mate for a drink or to hang out, have more self worth and respect for yourself take a mutual friend with you have fun but don't include him at this stage. Infact if he doesn't know you are visiting don't even tell him.
Personally, I would not waste any more of my precious time with this guy, I would think well you have had your chance and you blew it! his loss not yours.
I know you really have fallen for this guy, but stop texting stop calling and when he texts you as a second thought, tell him your busy! even if your not, give him a taste of his own medicine....
get to the gym go to the pics do things with your girly friends they are the ones who will pull you through this bad time- but beleive me it won't last for ever
I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but you deserve so much better!!
Best Wishes and Kindest Regards
Adelaide
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