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female
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*k2004
writes: The girl (23) is very mature for her age, a college grad, has a good job... has been through a lot in life... always lived w/father so is def not seeking a parent, she wants to have a family one day and a loving husband.The guy (43) chose the career path after the military in hopes he'd find a wife somewhere along the way... women he'd been with cheated.. he took time to figure himself out and what he wanted and focused on work. now owns a house and has a good stable job and wants a family. they both agree on many things, life, children, relationships, love, have some of the same friends... The girl is friends with his mother and two brothers, helped move him into his home and set up/organize it. There is a flirtation between them, nothing more than friendship... the girl wants to wait till marriage or engagement for sex and the guy knows this... could this become a good relationship/marriage?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): Hi, well here goes, some people think age gap relationships are wierd and especially when the older member is the man, i hear people muttering "paedophile" but what constitutes an age gap, months, years, decades, I think that this sort of prejudice could be used to destroy any sort of relationship and is very wrong, relationships are what they are, a relationship is between two people of whatever age colour or creed,
I am in a relationship with a beautiful girl, she makes my heart skip when she walks in, she is my one bright light in a croud, i don't see age or whatever, she is just the love of my life, we have both tried our hardest to let this go and she even moved out for a while to try to figure this out but it was then that we both realised how much we loved each other, I know to some of you this may just sound sick but what I am trying to say is that you can love someone for who they are and it does not matter what age they are, my sister is married to a man that is older than my mother and after three marriages she is now very very happy,
My girlfriend is nearly 19 and i am more than twenty years older than her, we intend to have a very long engagement but she is adamant that she wants my children, I have a child from my exmarriage and she is so good with him that we are a real family and happy together,
There are many that will say that this is wrong but we are open and honest about everything and as much as we have tried to pull this apart it has only grown stronger so my advise to you is that if you and your partner are happy and you love them, then it is only the prejudice of others that draw a question over anything, ignore it and live a full life,
Thanks
A
female
reader, Sorcha +, writes (17 November 2006):
bloody hell. sounds like a match made in heaven. and here dont be worryin about the age difference. im alot younger that my partner, and we work great together. to echo wot alot of people say " you cant choose love, love chooses you" Go with it, and take things slowly. I'm sure you both have alot of worries...explore and talk about them up front. time will tell, but dont let something good go xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): It sounds like they both have so many positive attributes in their friendship. I don't see an age difference difficulty if they don't have a problem with it.
Sometimes people tend to outgrow their partners, no matter what the age difference. Will it happen here? I don't know, but I do know that if these two people can build that strong friendship they currently share, into one that blossoms into a loving, mutually respectful relationship and grow together, the age difference will be a moot point.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): wow thats the best advice ive heard in a long time
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A
female
reader, Seen it, Done it, Been there +, writes (16 November 2006):
You said that family helped him to move house, dose any family members know you have been talking like this, speaking from experience some guy not all will tell you anything YOU want to hear just to get you into bed
He mite say that he wants to wait but he could be playing games with you get you in a false senses of security, he is 43 age is nothing but a number, but with out being cynical what do you really have in common, for a guy that age it is always great to have a young/er girl on their arm
If you can run it by some friends/family not word for word just say a guy that’s older has asked you out, you are old enough to be in a relationship so it should be too much of a shock.
Also you said you’re a grad. Congratulation but you didn’t say what you wanted to do/what your doing remember any career path will take at least 4/5 years which will make you 28 and still very young and him 48 do you think you will still feel the say way, especially if you married, would you still want children or if you have children by then do you think you would want to still pursue a career. I’ve been there it’s very and I had a partner, parents, family & extended family to help
my wise father always said don’t be a liability to yourself or anyone in English that means something that holds somebody back or somebody who is a burden, somebody who prevents a successful outcome or causes embarrassment. If family and a nice home is all you want then take a chance go for it and be careful, but for me a family was important but I wanted to be in a position that I could support myself and them
Good luck in whatever you decided
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