A
male
age
30-35,
*pawndemon
writes:Hey Guys,I'm in a really depressing situation at the moment. About 2 years ago, I met a girl at work who pretty much made these last 2 years the best of my life. When I first met her, I was automatically attracted to her. She was the girl I have been waiting for. She has it all, the looks, the personality, and just a way to make me get the biggest smile on my face when I'm around her. I've done everything for her, from buying her gifts to just doing things for her to make her life a little easier (Dumb I know). Everytime we text or talk, I never say anything negative..I'm always there for her though the good and the bad and I always will be. She always tells me I'm so nice and why I don't have a gf and that I'm good looking etc..only if she knew I was the one who loved her.I learned that she has a bf and believe me, I have tried to accept it, but I can't. When I see them together it makes me sick and depressed. They just don't look right together. I'm not saying this because I'm jealous..other people have said it as well. He does drugs, etc..and really doesn't seem to know how lucky he is. I've tried everything to shake it. I've gone to the gym, kept busy with work/college, go to the mall, talk to other girls, movies, you name it. But by the end of the day, she is on my mind.To be quite honest, I love this girl with all my heart. I would give my life just to save hers. There will be times where I'll find myself crying because of the situation. I've never met a girl who has affected me so much..We talk for hours at work and people have even mistaken us for a couple. I've never really asked if she had feelings for me because she's in a relationship and I don't want to interfere...She obviously diggs me, but just as a friend. I get constant texts from her daily and aims, etc...I just don't know what to do anymore...It is seriously eating away at my heart..
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at work, best friend, depressed, drugs, fell in love, girl at work, has a boyfriend, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): I fell in love with my best friend as well. The only difference was the experience prior to accepting my feelings was. The best way for me....and i know this is scary...is to tell her how you feel. I was torn up inside between her and me, only because i loved her.I walked in on my best friend and her hooking up and I couldnt believe it. I felt heart broken. I lost trust in all my friends even after i told the girl i liked her. My best friend felt awful about it, telling me how drunk he was and how sorry he felt. I forgave him in time. But the girl never said she was sorryOnce she had a boyfriend, she got closer to me, convincing herself that was enough to separate how i felt from where she was. But when she started going out with this guy, I started feeling the same way you fell, crying over her, and feeling she was betraying me, knowing she didn't belong with him. I still love her, but I know it was the right thing to tell her. I showed myself I'm better than my feelings, and that showing them is better than holding them hostage. Tell her how you feel,free yourself man.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): i had a friend for 2 years and loved her after a month but shes was and still is in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend broke up with me because she found out about the crush over a year ago but that did not quell it.3 weeks ago i told her that i wanted more than our friendship could offer, i didnt tell her i loved her because i knew that would be to much. Still, she started crying saying how important our friendship was and how her life would no be the same without me, ultimately though i was rejected. the next day she called me saying she wanted to talk more, that she didnt want it to end like this and there was still more we could say. i thought it was a bad idea, but agreed. So i go over there she opens the door and I jus kissed her, something she was clearly prepared for. two years of bottled up love and affection concentrated into 10 seconds, as cliche as this sounds i never wanted it to end.but it did. i told her that this was the only way i could be with her, that anything less hurt to much. but again, somewhat more hesitant on her part i was rejected. I was incredibly depressed after this second rejection, still am. I am avoiding her ceaselessly despite her efforts to contact me, it kills i miss her every minute, but it has to be done. I dont expect to feel to good or love someone else for quite a while, but it will happen. So... advice to you. TELL HER i know how it feels to live with unrequented love, it was my drug of choice. You gotta have tell her how you feel. despite this slump i have sunk into, i know i did all i could. I have NO REGRETS which is the only thing that is allowing me to cope with this situation.Tell her, you will probably get rejected but there will be no unanswered questions. You may very well lose a best friend but your kidding yourself if you didn’t think it would end like this.I hope she has the strength to do what ever makes her happiest, and i hope that is with youSo, I wrote this as a comment for some one 3 months ago. About 3 weeks after this I was still quite depressed, but had managed to not see her once. One day she came and found me walking to class (im in college) one day, we walked and talked and when I was about to go she said “ I broke up with my boyfriend.” I didn’t know how to react. But the next I asked her to go to a movie. 3 months later im dating my best friend, and its going great. Good luck man, it happens
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A
female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (21 February 2009):
 you have to talk to her about this, tell her how you feel that way if she likes you great, if not it will make it easier for you to move on although there are some people we never really get over you can move on. tell her everything you have told us, just put it all out there. good luck and let us know what you decide to do.
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