A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:me and my closest friend are both living in the same house. we share the same room before. we are not just regular friends. we both have history. we came to the point of being into an intimate friends. we even have sex. i fall in love with him. i dont know on him on what he really feels. we're very close and yet he decided to remain the two of us as good friends, i agree. im hurt especially when he brought a girl in our house. i already told him im not going to talk to him if he will bring someone in the house. i dont know what to do. im really hurt. please help. i need advice.
View related questions:
best friend, fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xandrex  +, writes (16 April 2008):
The question is, how much have you told him. You say the "he decided" did you tell him that you were not OK with this?One of the issues that I've seen in many people's relationships and some of my own is that one individual will often be more decisive or, for lack of a better expression, strong willed. They will make decisions and the other will agree because they love them. Not because they actually agree.You need to let him know you have feelings for him. You need to tell him you want a relationship. You need to tell him it hurts you to see him with other people -- not that you're mad at him for being with other people. Take ownership of the statement. Bottom line is this: you can't expect him to not date just because he doesn't want to date you. If he rejects you, it will hurt, but you have to go on with your life and allow him to do the same. If you want to remain friends then do so and it will get easier over time. The biggest issue in this question is that you live with him. You'll have to see... well, not first hand, but a close third... what his social life is like, who he's with, and who he wants to be with. My advice is this. Tell him. Tell him in a calm manner. Take ownership of the statements: "I feel..." Don't blubber while you're doing it... try to be rational. After that, back off. Be that same person you were when you were friends. Give him space to think about it -- but still be there to remind him occasionally. If he wants to date you he will... if he doesn't he won't.Xan
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice. we just talked. he told me he knows why im acting like im avoiding him. i wanted to tell him that im in love with him but i cant. he might react opposite on what im expecting. there are lots of things i wanted to tell him, im just afraid. i know that he has a little feeling for me. he admitted that he is player, that's the reason why he doesnt want me to get much involved on him and remain as good friends because he doesnt to loose me as his friend and make me as one of those girls he played with because as what he said he cares for me and he doesnt want me to get hurt. im getting weak on my knees when he talk sweet things to me again and tells me how much he cares me. he is protecting me with other guys. i cherished him a lot and so was he. he wanted us to talk about this matter and i dont know what how and what to tell him... i feel weak. i've got teary eyes everytime i tried to speak. what should i tell him? how would i start it?
...............................
A
male
reader, binhquangdao +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Love is not what he's feeling for you you might love or think you love him it could be lust or infuacuation. If he's taking another female to the house you already know that he doesn't love you as a lover just as a friend respect that and tell him you will have guys friends over.
...............................
A
female
reader, daniellexxxx  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Sounds to me like he lives with you so it just think he can have sex with you, But he may like you but be to scared of telling you as due to rejection, Just try to get on with your life even bring a man back play him at his own game see how he reacts. GOOD luck.
...............................
|
