A
female
age
41-50,
*uni
writes:i am a seperated woman with 1 daughter of 5 years old. my husband left us 2 years back and has filed a divorce case. i'm contesting against it as i want him to come back home.in the meantime i met a man who is 3 years younger than me on the net and we started meeting each other and slept together also. At that time he told me he was not married but soon to get married. As i was lonely i decided to meet him till he is married but soon i fell in love with him. He then told me he got married but he loves me very much and he also cant stop meeting me. he started spending some time with my kid also and takes a lot of pain to keep me happy by eating at my place spending time with me and also keeping me physically happy.but gradually he started confessing to me that he cant anymore lie to me as he loves me. he was already married a year back before we met but he still wants to continue the relationship. i tried a lot to forget him but since i deeply love him and since i've seen love for the first time, I am not able to make a stand. What should i do? I dont want him to hurt his wife and i always encourage him to be responsible towards his wife and look after her needs. I know he is doing that but still he does not want to leave me. What should i do?
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I'm confused. You're contesting your marriage because you want your husband to come home, but you're in love with a married man? You can't have your husband AND someone else's. Leave this man alone to attend to his wife; he's never going to leave her to be with you.
A
female
reader, Jo Rocks  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 What a sad situation. I will not fault you because you did not know that he was already married albeit dating him while he was "engaged" wasn't exactly the right thing to do either.
This man is not going to leave his wife for you because if he was then he would have already. I understand that you put a great deal of emotion into him but the moral thing to do is to suck up the pain and let him go. If he cheated on her, do you not think that in time if he did leave his wife for you that he would repeat his cheating behavior?
You already know what you should do but doing what is right is not always the easiest path.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2010):
 If you were his wife, what would you want to have happen? The only way for this to continue is if his wife agrees that it is okay for him to see you as well. If not, or if he's not truthful with her, as he was not with you, I'd let him go. You may love him, but he's not yours. If your husband came back, would it be okay for him to have another girl on the side? You also have a child. Do you want her to see a husband being with other women is okay. She's learning how to treat, and how to be treated from you. You need to decide what you want her learning.
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