A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi there. I've been on here many times. I have gotten great advice. I have one question too ask. my back story. thru highschool I had many girlfriends. after a few casual relatonships I started gettin into bad relatonships. I've been used, hurt, cheated on, broken hearted, left with countless questions and overall rendered hurt. then something happnd and my one and only found me. she was everything too me. I loved her with all my heart. I was still in highschool. my school councillor insulted me and was doin wat he could too keep me from graduation. I punched him and was arrested. after a long probation I had one week till I could take my girlfriend too on a real date and do the things a boyfriend should. I convinced her too come too my house. she was hit by a drunk driver and killed. I fell apart. I secluded myself for 2 years from any kind of relatonship. I thought I was happy. but I ended up pushing her away. I was over secure. I lost myself. I havnt had a relationship since and that was 2 years ago. I finally went too a grief councillor. I've came too terms with the death of my love. I still believe she was my one and only. I still see her and unfortunately resort too the bottle. I don't want another relatonship. I can't go thru this anymore. my question is I know im closing myself off and this is what I want. but am I wrong too do this? I have many female friends and I give them the best advice that I can. my sister (non blood but love her too death) continuesly tries too hook me up with her sister and we've been talkin and she remindes me so much of ciera (my ex) and it kills me cuz she just got out of an abusive relatonship and she's hurting. seeing her hurt kills me inside. I feel like im already in a relatonship with her and I know this is wrong because she remindes me of my ex who was murdered. how do I get out of this? I don't want this. I don't want too hey close. what do I do?
View related questions:
drunk, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): Yes secluding yourself from people and life is wrong, it will only make you feel more alone and sad. I too lost someone very close in a very tragic way about 3 years ago. I know how you feel, you want to stay away from people and not get connected so you won't get hurt again. But that's just life, it's good and bad, pleasure and pain. I would suggest sticking with the grief counseling, maybe search out a psychologist to help you further. I also would not get in a relationship with this other girl, she seems to be having some issues of her own and you'd be safer just being her friend. You need a simple relationship without so much chaos and pain. But it honestly sounds like you are still in mourning and might not be a good time to start a relationship anyway because you'd just be comparing any girl you date to your ex. You need to heal yourself before you try to get in any relationships and that can take a longtime, there is no specific amount of time it takes a person to heal.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): continue with the therapy or counselor.. don't stop until you finally be able to remember your beloved with a great memories.. also until you stop 'self-pitying'..
good luck..
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I am very sorry for your sad and great loss. I hope and pray that you will find the strength to keep on going.
If you need to share and talk about it , please do not hesitate to post in here.
I know , no words can adequately comfort your anguished and broken soul. You will be in my thoughts and daily prayers.
Take care and I pray to God to heal your pains and hurts.
...............................
|
