A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help this is lengthy so if anyone's willing to read and advise I would be so gratefulI really don't like myself I have extremely few friends and am extremely harsh and negative about myselfI'm 39 in 2 weeks and live at home I feel like I've achieved nothingI was put into a major debt situation thanks to an ex but finished my iva 1 week agoI started a new job in October but that's gone wrong too I'm failing at it thanks to some of my colleagues telling my line manager I didn't understand stuffEveryone else in the department feels sorry for me as they said I've been put in a bitchy section where I've been offered limited support and the guy that trains me does nothing but shoutMy mum has mental issues and I feel bad leaving her at home with my sister who is recovering from cancer A guy I thought really liked me had dropped me saying I was too much when he led me in for the last 2 years saying he was going to be with me but just fed me lies and mind games I be honest I hate myself I thought about counselling but the doctor is horrible and I haven't been to see her in 11 years and its hard to change I go in facebook and everyone's always happy I feel lonely One of the few friends I have can be toxic and one min is nice then snippy and criticises me a lotI just feel worthless but would do anything for anyone but yet when I have people take the pissJust really want to feel good but can't.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2014): Dear Anonymous, I feel for you and I wish I have words of wisdom to help you come out of this trouble situation, however I agree with everything "no nonsense Aidan" has said, I couldn't have said it any better !!
Go out to join clubs, if your finances permit, do volunteer work, again it's an opportunity to mingle and meet people, you'll make new friends and the fact that you do good deeds for others in need will satisfy you !!
Also visit this website whenever you feel down , communicate with all of us agony aunts and uncles !! You can learn a lot on this website. Find a hobby, join yoga or meditation classes, ask in a community centre if they have any courses. You can do it. All the best for you and God bless
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (5 January 2014):
I think counselling would be helpful for you, it’s no miracle but it will provide a safe space where you can voice these feelings to some-one who won’t judge you or tell you what to do, but will listen and work with you to explore why you feel this way. IT does sound like you have experienced a series of hardships in recent times and you have probably not dealt with each one properly before the next one.
If you can’t get on with your doctor request to see a different one, also contact the charity Mind who may be able to advise on accessing counselling services.
You won’t feel better overnight but you should try to do small things to boost your self-esteem. Why not take your sister out once in a while and tell her you appreciate all she does for your mother? And if your mother requires looking after, offer to do it sometimes outside your working hours, so she can have a break?
If your friend is toxic, try to meet new people. IT can take a while to form new friendships but you can feel better just having conversations with people. Consider volunteering as a great way to meet others and help others, it can do wonders for your confidence. Alternatively find clubs that you might join, based on your interests.
You are currently trapped by a lack of confidence, you hate feeling badly about yourself yet you don’t believe you’ve got the ability to change it so there is a vicious cycle. You may also believe that the steps you would need to take are too big and seem to difficult. But taking these little steps I’ve mentioned, though they will be tricky, will set you on a better course to recovering, especially when combined with some counselling.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (5 January 2014):
 I think this post is inadequte for what you're going through but it's the best I can come up with. I wish I could help more.
I think you need to get some help immediately. If you can't talk to your doctor go to a different one. It's not hard to change. Just make an appointment with a new guy.
And maybe you could talk to someone at work that you are struggling because the guy who is supposed to be training you just yells at you.
I think your issues are going to require the help of a therapist and a lot of work to make some changes in your life. As hard as it seems this requires you to take the first step. Contact a doctor or a counselling service and go from there.
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