A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Last week i saw a text message on my husbands phone.It was from a female texting Happy Birthday to him in full with a kiss at the end and her saying that she would phone him later. She sent this message early that morning and then phoned him later that morning. She is employed by a large company and my husband is self employed as a financial consultant for this company.I am not bothered in the slightest at him speaking to women so please don't suggest that i am, it's part of his job and i am aware that he has many female numbers on his mobile phone.He had phoned her the previous evening on the way home,i am just wondering why a women would text a married man in this way,a simple text saying Happy Birthday is fine but she put a lot of effort into it, including a kiss and sent it just before 8.00am, It just seems odd, i have never felt inclined to act this way towards a male colleague married or otherwise. I would simply wish them a happy birthday and that be it. A few months ago they stayed in a hotel together along with some other colleagues for a conference, again there was a text to my husband saying she would be with him shortly.She was on her way to the hotel and i don't think it was just my husband she was meeting, there were other colleagues.Until then i was unaware of this woman, i never mentioned it to my husband at the time but now i am wondering. We have had trust issues before, about 8 years ago some female colleague was interested in him, eventually he admitted that she was interested in a relationship with him but denied an affair. We have been married for 15 years and are reasonably happy with 2 children My husband can be deceitful to me, however he is also loving. Incidently last week he was really off with me and seemed miserable despite it being his birthday. I have mentioned this to him and asked him if anything has happened between them, he has said no,i also asked him how she knew it was his birthday and he said he had told her when he spoke to her on the phone the previous night. I would like to know what other people think, especially anyone that has been in a similar situation. My husband works part of the week from home and travels locally some days and sometimes travels abroad with his work.
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affair, married man, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sissy01  +, writes (6 March 2010):
Sweetie, I'm sorry, he's cheating.
A
female
reader, KC97 +, writes (12 February 2008):
I am so sorry but, to he is at least having an Emotional Affair with this woman and hopefully he hasn't gone to far yet. He sounds like he's hiding her from you and why is he talking to her at night if this is business relationship only! Also, who in there right mind sends a married man a text like that with out having some sort of relationship beyond work!! I have gone through an Emotional Affair that had started with my husband and a coworker and I put a stop to it quick. Get a print out of his texts and a print out of who he's talking to and the time. Then tell him you and kids are going to take sometime away a day or two and let the kids stay with a sister or grandmom and you watch him and see what really goes on before and after work and when your away or better yet when he travles follow him and see. You must protect you and your kids and don't let him use you like a fool be careful and smart get the evidence you need and then confront him and if he's cheating take the evidence to an attorney first then confront him with it always protect you and your kids first and Good Luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): To me it sounds bad. I have been in the same shoes as you and I told my husband point blank its her or me because I couldn't live not knowing and to me I'd be better off alone and happy rather than being lied to about it. No woman that just works with him is going to send a text like that and why does he call her at night and before work? This is far more than it seems. Maybe you should spy a little maybe tell him you need a break and prtend to go away for a day or two and see where he goes and try and get a print out of all his text messages and a print out of all his phone calls from the phone company to me its better safe than sorry remember you have kids to raise and if he's cheating he possibly could give you something you can't cure. Please be careful and protect you and your kids.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): I would increase your suspiscion not decrease it. I think there is something going on but you need to know what that 'something' is. You can buy things that you can download deleted texts into and retrieve them - visit a spy site - there are lots of little tricks like that. I would really monitor his phone - see where he leaves it - but don't let on too soon otherwise you will drive anything that is going on further underground. Keep a log of what happens - and see over the next month. So far his behaviour is, at best, disrespectful to you. One sneaky idea could be that you could intercept one of these texts and reply to it - not suggestively but with something like - hi how is your evening. See what happens? Last resort though. In summary - its certainly not normal.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 December 2007):
 To my simple way of seeing things, there is a good chance that your husband is having an affair with this woman. Where I live, women don't send a message with a kiss unless they are in some sort of a relationship. If this is the case in Britain as well, then I think there are good grounds for suspicion. I'm not sure he is actually having an affair, but he might be getting there. At the very least, I think she's interested in him and he lets her be.
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