A
female
age
41-50,
*rownsugar33
writes:Hi, I have been in a relationship with a married man going on 6 years I always hoped that we would become a permanent relationship. I gave this man my heart and soul and just knew that one day we would go further as being a couple and that he was going to leave his wife because he was so unhappy so to speak. well he didn't leave her, she left him and now that she is gone, he moved me in and he treats me bad , he yells at me all the time, and make me feel so unloved. although he say that he love me. I really love this man and wish things would get better. now i feel that he is doing me the way he did his wife. I am now the woman at home , and he is seeing his wife on the side. everytime she calls him because she needs a ride or something he goes flying to her rescue. I am so hurt and I don't know what to do anymore all I do is cry. Can someone please tell me how to get out of this. I feel trapped and attached and afraid to leave.
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married man, trapped, unloved Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): What do you mean, you can't leave him because you have no money and nowhere else to go?
Where did you live before you moved in with him? Do you have a job??
Are you afraid he will get violent if you do leave? He certainly sounds abusive.
Can you not move in with a family member, or woman friend while you sort yourself out? Failing that, perhaps a women's shelter? Can you ask your medical doctor to give you a referral to a counseling service so that you can find out what resources are available for you?
This is not a good situation for you to be in, and it doesn't seem to be making you happy......
A
female
reader, brownsugar33 +, writes (19 February 2009):
brownsugar33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys, this is a very hard thing for me. Being that I have no where else to go at this point or any money. Thank you for making me see the light.
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A
female
reader, Karma Leg Sam.SG  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 he is just using you for sex on the side ,what he said to you is just an excuse for you to have sympathy on his unhappy married and reason to stick around...you are wasting your time and doing the chore of his wife...which in the end gave you nothing in return...unless he is supporting you in other way like finacialy in exchange of your service..or else why on earth would u want to live and felt like a sinful thing that cant be open and Be seen in the public i have 1st hand experience and now that i think about it i hate every second of it..even if eventually you became the wife...he will do the same to you...you will feel like hell...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): ditto.
walk awayand start yourself a new life, hopefully a healthier one. consider this to have been one of lifes lessons and now you can focus on yourself. there is no way i can see your situation improving. seriously, do you really want to be a part of that triangle? probably not.
the whole thing started on a wrong, wrong, note. perhaps now you can find the wisdom and courage to start over with someone better.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (19 February 2009):
 you need to be strong. i think you already know that hes not going to change for you, i know you probably wanna believe he will but more then likely he wont. isnt getting out of this relationship whats best for you? then you need to get out. make plans to leave, you lived without him befor so you can do it again. you will miss him, theres no denying that but you deserve better, and you know that you will never be able to fully trust him. cut him out of your life befor its too late.
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