A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met this boy when I was in my senior year of high school and we really hit it off. It seemed like we were the perfect match for each other, until one day he told me he was moving away after that school year and he will be leaving the school. I totally felt heartbroken, I felt like I was in love and he said he felt the same too. He said he would love to keep in touch with me but we didn't talk since. After he left I was depressed for months, I occasionally caught my self thinking about him, hoping he was okay. I often caught myself wondering what would have happened if he never moved away, but then I decided to move on. Recently I came across his Instagram page and followed him, he followed me back and I noticed he had a girlfriend and he seemed pretty happy. Then he liked a bunch of my pics so i liked a few of his back. I don't want to comment and just seem weird because we haven't talked in so long, but I feel the need to talk to him and see if there was anything real between us, but I don't want to seem weird. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 July 2014):
 While I don't feel that hitting him up with a " Hi John, long time no see you, what have you been up to ? " would be particularly strange or inappropriate, in this Facebook time and age when people reconnect from the paleozoic era... I am dubious about the motivations . You want to see " if there was anything real between you ", and how would you go about it ? Putting him on the spot and flat out asking him ? Openly flirting ? Subtly tryng to create an intimate atmosphere between you, where you can talk about , not just common friends and current plans and stuff, but about deep personal feelings..?
The guy has got a girlfriend now !, do not go raise trouble or look for trouble.
I think the answer is very possibly : it was real THEN, in the moment, at the time. Then things change, life goes on, and.... if it had been SO real and so strong , don't you think he WOULD have kept in touch as he had promised ? Instead he said he would have liked to keep in touch... then you never heard from him again. I am not saying that he is a bad guy or a liar for that, just that
often teen romances are like this, intense but temporary. And situational. He liked you because... you where there, mostly. Out of sight... he has a gf and looks happy.
You got stuck in your romantic fantasy, and , although hopefully innocuous, it is also improductive and holds you back from living your REAL life, not the fantasy one, in the here and now. What does it matter what " could " have happened if he had never moved, and never moved on ?. He DID move, and he DID move on. I'd leave it at that, if I were you...
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