A
male
age
30-35,
*admotorfinger91
writes:Hello there.I posted this (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-i-like-someone-ive-met-online.html) over a year ago now, which is quite shocking thinking about it.A quick update; we never really recovered, and she moved permanently aboard in the summer, but would occasionally chat. I started making friendship bracelets for myself, and she asked for one, saying she'd mail something back but never did. For Xmas I decided to send her another one, with a really nice letter too, as a surprise. The day after I posted it, she had a boyfriend. It crushed me. She did promise to send something again, but didn't. We don't talk now (except for birthday messages on Facebook).I've mostly move on, and it was a good experience in a way, because I've gotten a lot more confident through her (and another girl I was harmlessly flirting with through Tumblr at the start of this year).-------------------------BACKGROUND:Which leads me to a new problem. in many ways, I'm a lot more confident than last year, but I'm a year older, I'm still a virgin and I still haven't kissed anyone yet.It was my birthday at the end of May and I went out with my mates. I'm not a big drinker but they forced loads of shots on me, I wasn't that drunk, just tired and aching legs because of dancing. I went outside for air/a rest, so I sat on the concrete floor whilst chatting to my mate and his girlfriend. Then, all of a sudden a hot girl walks over and sits next to me. I'll call her G from now on, she's 19. My friends left, and I managed to add her on Facebook for she left.I talked to her a little and got her number on Facebook and we sort of said we should meet on the weekend, but nothing was fixed and I didn't hear from her.Meeting up her is awkward as she lives on the opposite side of town, so for safety and monetary reasons, I'd have to have something concrete before going to meet her (if I wasn't out with friends and going on my own).She got back to me a few days later apologising that she was busy. In the middle of June, she went away for 2 weeks, first off for an audition for a guitar course.The day she left, I sent her a text wishing her luck (she passed the audition), thinking if she replies or not, whatever. She did reply, and we had a bit of a chat, and the lines of communication were reopened. With her away still, we had a long text convo about things, and during the process I told her I was a virgin - I thought I offended her asking about sex etc. because she is religious (Christian). She said she doesn't sleep with anyone she hasn't said "I love you" to, which whilst I'm not religious, I understand it's trust.We finally managed to hangout at the start of July in Starbucks as she works there. Her friend served me and asked if I was her boyfriend. G straight away said "no, I don't do boyfriends" and essentially alluded to the fact that she was sort of seeing someone before but it wouldn't work, which I had already assumed by now. Her friend kept coming over chatting about that guy/other hot guys. Before we left, I went to toilet, and they were talking about the guy again, with G saying she "doesn't want anything as she was leaving soon". Sigh.After this, contact was about once a week via Twitter/Facebook and the odd text. CURRENT:About 3 weeks ago I was over a friends and was bored, so texted a few people who may be out, inc. G. She said no, and she's only out on Wednesdays, and asked if I wanted to go that Weds. I told her I can see what I can do, and she said I should go see her in work (I'd already be in town) and she'll "convince" me.On the Wednesday, she saw me walk past Starbucks in the day and immediately texted me "You walked past but didn't come in and say hi" . I was always planning to go back and meet her when she finished work. Which I did. She did some shopping and we chatted, I walked her to the train station despite being the opposite direction for me. The worst part was that she said that she wasn't going out herself - I think I was more gutted because I'd not been out for 2 months.Last Saturday, I was out with friends, and as I remembered her saying she was out too, I thought I may as well text her. She was out and going elsewhere, but she told me to wait outside my club so she could say hi. She came past, chatted, then went off.Then this Friday, I told her I'd come in and see her or hang out when she finished in the afternoon, as I had an interview. I was mistaken though and the interview was an all day thing, but I had the chance to pop in and tell her this. She also said she was going to a new club and asked me if I wanted to come.I told her I'd come, but would be out with friends first, and told her where I was. She ended up calling me to meet her at the station, as her friend had to go home, then we went back to my mates. She was really nice and friendly talking to my 2 male friends and one's girlfriend. We eventually left to meet her friend.Within 2 minutes she was asking him about what he thinks about this other guy she's been texting. Then was flirting with the flyer boy for the club we were going to. In the club, she knew everyone and would mingle (but was still cool with my friends).She was dancing/flirting with this one guy she knew a fair bit, and again with the flyer boy when he finished work. As far as I know, nothing happened, at least in front of me. But even if it was all in good fun, I didn't get that attention.At the end of the night, I was trying to make sure she was okay, but struggled for her attention. Eventually I told her I was going, and she asked me to Facebook her to let her know I got home okay (I texted the next day). She replied eventually, and I asked if she enjoyed it. She said yes, and that she got to talk to (some guy) so it was good.After reading this Sunday morning, I decided I needed to say something, so asked her to meet me today (I didn't get a response).PROBLEM:As I said, I've decided I need to say something, but I don't know what. She's leaving in 2 weeks time for her course, and I know she doesn't want an LDR, and neither do I really; I don't want my first relationship to turn into an LDR straight away.Obviously I like her, but I'm not sure how much. I mean maybe part of it is that she, a hot girl, came up to me that night, and because I hadn't been out for ages, she was my closest chance. Now I'm going out a bit more, there can be opportunities to meet more people. I definitely want to keep her as a friend as she's fun, but I don't want things to be awkward between us before she leaves and want to party with her again to say bye before she does, and then when she's back in say 8/9 months, we can be friends again.As I said, I don't want things to be awkward, but feel I should say something. If anything, it's getting experience from hanging out with the opposite sex, having sort-of dates, etc. etc. I'm just trying to figure out how to go about it without making everything really awkward or ruining what could be a good friendship.PS. Sorry for the essay!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Is this really so hard? Tell her that you would like to keep in contact with her when she leaves. Does she not have a cell phone? Does she not have texting? Does she not probably have email?
You are stressing over nothing.
Take her out before she leaves, tell her you really like her, tell her you are interested in her. Worse things have happened than long-distance-relationships. Maybe, just maybe you would continue to get to know each other, make plans to visit when time allow, and something more could develop? Who knows? But if you like her, isn't it worth a try?
In terms of trying to figure out what she wants through making inferences...I wouldn't. If you want to know what she's thinking...ask her.
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