A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I split up today. We had our first arguement 2 months ago and things went downhill from there. His response to the arguement was to ignore me for half a week, my response was feeling very insecure and felt I was walking on eggshells, like I wasn't able to be in a mood or ever unhappy - that's what the arguement was about, I was snappy with him one day.Since the arguement, I had been distant, but we had a talk a few weeks ago and I promised to put the insecure feelings behind me and make more of an effort, I really put 110% into being a better girlfriend. But since then, he's the one that's made no effort, and today I told him how I feel - that he has no time for me, that he's not interested.He began by saying that he loves me very much and he is very interested, then by the end of our conversation he seemed to have talked himself into the fact that we should be friends.I just feel this has added to things not going well for me. I still live at home and am on a low wage, I just feel stuck in my own personal rut and I don't know how to get out of it. I have been saving to move out but it just seems that it's never going to be enough, unless I save for the next 5 years!
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male
reader, Wontonbomb +, writes (6 December 2009):
 I'm very sorry you guys split up. How long were you together? I know it might not seem like much consolation right now but you will feel much better about the break up very soon, it just takes time. You never know, i've noticed that in a lot of relationship break downs, most people who broke up over silly little arguments tend to get back together. Cheating, lieing, constantly arguing etc are the cause of the major break ups.
On the topic of money, I wouldnt let that worry you. It might seem daunting at the moment but everybody has money worries and you'll pull through. Perhaps do a night course in something you enjoy and get a better job out of it.
A
female
reader, bambi1980 +, writes (6 December 2009):
 Hi, you don't say how long you were with this man but to fall out over something so petty seems a little ridiculous on his part! Is there more to it I wonder or has he used this childish argument as an excuse to get out of the relationship. These are questions that I would be asking. Like the others have said use this opportunity to weigh up your life. Were you truly happy with this man, is he worth fighting for?? If not I'd cut contact with him and try to move on. Use the New Year as an opportunity to go out and meet new people, join clubs, do some voluntary work and most of all have fun and try to work out what you want from life.
Good luck and chin up!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 December 2009):
Well the good news is that you are rid of your useless boyfriend! Yey!
Cut contact with him and your life will improve pretty fast.
Next, you need to sort your job out.
Now you are single, the world is your oyster! Why not get a job in a ski resort this winter? Have a think about what you WANT to do in life and look into getting trained up / applying for it.
Once you have a decent job, you will be able to move out.
Think of this as an opportunity rather than a sad day.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
It's all going to hit you right about now. You sound like a lady who has let a lot of things pile up inside you, and it's about to burst. So this is the time to change direction and focus on yourself. Your so called boyfriend sounds like he isn't interested enough in you. So, instead of worrying about him, let him go, cut contact and move on. Then focus on yourself, and your life. Ask yourself what you want from it, and what you want to do. Are there hobbies you can enjoy? Have you friends that you can go out with? Is there another career that you want to re-train for. You're going to enter a very unhappy moment in your life if you don't make changes now. So out with the old, in with the new. I'm not saying it will be easy, but surely it's better to start again afresh with another career, new hobbies and then a new guy, that to worry about the past and continue down the path you are going. Be brave, it's a big world, and it's time you explored it! Good luck.
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