A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm stuck in a loop and I don't know how it's going to work out!? Is it time to end it? Ok so I'm 14 and he's 15 I know it's young but please please understand and treat me like anybody else. I know relationships at my age aren't like ones for life but I'm learning. Me and my boyfriend, Tom have been going out for a year now. Doesn't sound like long but for people of our age it is ages! Kids nowadays go out with somebody for like two days! Anyway :), at first it was all "OMG 3 he's amazing la la la" we were always with each other. Always talking. Always cuddling up together with his arm round me and stuff and my heart skipped a beat whenever I heard his name it was getting to know each other and becoming more comfortable with hugging and stuff. Taking it slow. Only thing is we have never got to kissing! Like once on the cheek! And we kept saying we would build the courage to do it and kiss on the lips properly when we were ready but we never did. He always made promises about how he would on friday or whatever but obviously nothing happened. Which I didn't mind. Kissing isn't essential i know the feelings are, not the actions. Except for months now we have been having a routine relationship. Just hugging in school once or twice at the end of break then talking online in the evening. Every day. He seems ok with it. I'm kinda bored. I know it's wrong of me but I don't wanna stay in a relationship like this. I hug my friends every day!!! It's not special he might as well be my mate. I told him about the whole continous loop thing. And he asked what we could do to spice it up so as to speak and when I said I dunno he said kissing. So now we come back to the promises and all the "let's kiss when we get the opportunity". Ok so to break the loop we kiss. Except we are too nervous. And that puts more pressure on the kiss. And planning kisses is so wrong. So I do the whole kiss thing and he thinks once we have done it we'll do it loads. Or I stay in the loop because I hate having a kiss as a relationship saver. Because what he doesn't realise is that I don't wanna stay in the loop! The boring "relationship" (if you can call it that) is just not worth it anymore, there's no "OMG HE'S AMAZING3" heart fluttery stuff anymore. I don't know what to do. He has seemed really distant lately. Just seeing me at the end of break for a hug yet online he's all "I love you so much xxxxxxxxxxxx"...does this mean the relationship is naturally ending? Do I tell him how I will possibly leave if this continues? But he still says (not to my face anymore) how he loves me and I don't wanna crush him. I'm so damn confused. I know I Don't like how our current "relationship" is and yet I don't see the kissing happening and if it did it would be a desperate thing to break the loop.......do I leave him? I'm afraid of beig too impulsive and ruining it all yet I feel it may be time to move on. I don't know. PLEASE HELP?! I feel so trapped.
View related questions:
crush, kissing, move on, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Just kiss him!!!!!
A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Okay, so you've been together a year and you haven't kissed.
I don't know whether he's trying to make this be like a friendship so its easier for him to handle and so it doesn't get all serious too fast because he's scared, or if he genuinely doesn't want to act like a relationship. Everyones first kisses are special, and if they're with someone they want to be with, thats even better. Its really nothing to be nervous about, because all it is is a little kiss and you'll gradually get used to it and get better at it.
You sound unhappy, and in a loop, and going round in circles is never good, because everyone needs to try something new, talk to him about it, or just go in for the kiss, the worst that could happen is you two break up, and your very young so obviously your going to find someone later on anyway who WILL want to kiss you and treat you like a real girlfriend.
Give it a try.
...............................
|
