A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel overwhelmed and I don't know how to juggle everything and give it my best shot. Basically, in just under 2 weeks, I'm having my first driving test. I passed my theory on the third try. If I don't pass this practical test, I have to renew my provisional license which runs out this year and pay for more lessons and another test. So failing equals expense. Not to mention my best friend passed first time today and I'm super happy for her but it's made me super nervous about my own predicament. THEN on top of that, I'm moving in with my boyfriend of 5 months, while we both attend university for the first time. It's too much, but I want to deal with all of it and not run from any of it. But I don't know any healthy coping methods for this kind of thing. Can anyone suggest any?
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male
reader, Indiglorex  +, writes (31 August 2019):
One thing at a time. That's the key. Don't deal with all of them at the same time. Focus on your test. Then focus on moving in. Just go day by day and that will make everything feel much less overwhelming.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2019): First let me congratulate you on passing the theory. Now, before I give you a few ideas... I have two great fears: tests and driving (real phobia!).I have no idea how I made it so far and got two degrees. I hated tests and exams. I have recently started with driving lessons, because I have always been afraid of driving. I am 42 now.So, first of all focus on yourself and STOP comparing yourself to others.When such thoughts appear, do not dwell on them. Stop playing the "what if I fail" game. It's no use of thinking about it in advance. So, again, when these thoughts appear , let them go and do not elaborate. I know how important the licence is and how important it is to save money when you do not have a lot, but you need to let go of these notions and realize that you are doing your best. If your best means that you'll need more time (and money), so be it. Do not beat yourself up about it.Change your focus to something else. Stop giving so much importance to this whole thing. Work hard but think about is as one one of the things you'll do.This has helped me a lot!I passed my theory test a few weeks ago and still have some lessons before taking the big test. I still do not like driving. I sometimes sweat when I'm driving, but it's nothing compared to how it was only two months ago!Work hard and think positive thoughts :)
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (28 August 2019):
 Hi Op,
What exactly are you overwhelmed about?? You have individual situations happening. You are the one putting them all together. Focus on the most current one, deal with it and get that done. Then move on the next.
Life is not a cake...Where you have to combine all the ingredients together in one bowl, and mix them up. In life, you deal with the event that needs your attention the most, then move on to the next and so on.
Best way to past your driving test...Pretend the instructor is a good friend or family member, and not someone there to judge you. Pretend you are just going for a drive with a good friend, and you do not know where you are going, and they have to give you instructions. It helps to put your mind at ease.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 August 2019):
 +A driving test is simply your chance to show what you have learned and to prove you can navigate roads and traffic in a safe manner. You will not be asked to do anything you have not done time and time again with your instructor. The examiner cannot throw you any curve balls. Remember, your examiner is a human being who is just doing his/her job. They will be looking to pass you, not fail you, so relax.
I passed my driving test many years ago and have to say I still remember it as a pleasant experience. My driving instructor was VERY strict. He would jump on any mistakes or omissions on my part. He would do things like suddenly covering up my rear view mirror and saying "Without moving your eyes off the road, tell me what is behind you" when he was pretty certain I didn't know at that point because I had not checked my mirror for some time. When I got a new watch, he pretended to place it behind the back wheel of the car when we were about to do a hill start so that I would have the "incentive" not to roll back. Guess what? I didn't roll back! (The watch was actually in his pocket.)
My driving test, when compared to an average lesson, was delightful! I thoroughly enjoyed showing what I could do with the minimum of input from the person in the passenger seat.
Relax and stop building up the test into something it isn't. It is not full of traps. It is not designed to catch you out. Stay calm. Keep focused on what your driving instructor has taught you. If you make a mistake, don't panic; just sort it out. You are allowed minor errors so it's no biggie.
Wishing you the best of luck. Let us know when you pass!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 August 2019):
 I think you are piling on a lot of anxious thinking onto your driving test.
I lived in the UK and I had to take driving lessons and the written exam and the driving exam as well. So I know about the anxiety factor because I was worried too!
Practice as much as you can. If you find unwanted thoughts about all your worries start creeping in and start to set you up for failure, recognize them, acknowledge them and then refocus on your task.
Daily affirmations that you are a good driver, a capable driver, and can pass this test.
If you are naturally an anxious person then consider mindfulness techniques to take you out of the future disaster anxiety and live in the present.
Perhaps your best approach is to get very focused on practicing driving.
My best advice came from my driving instructor. Reach out to her/him and ask for test tips.
The rest of your worries about moving etc can wait. One thing at a time.
You’ll be fine!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2019): Welcome to adulthood OP! This is your life, from now on. It is pretty simple really: you will sink or you will swim! Ok, prioritize what must be done. You need a place to live, so the move in is immediate! Your bf and bff will be helping you. Many hands make light work! Uni has its own schedule, so attend classes as scheduled, or speak to your faculty advisor, to make your class schedule doable! Now, if I am YOU, I want to pass that driving test, and I have a bff who nailed that test, her first attempt, so guess who is going to be my tutor for two weeks: Yep, your bff! Pick her brain. Let her pick your brain to determine what you do not know, but should know, to pass that test! Are you feeling anxious? If so, that is good and it is normal! Humans have a healthy kind of anxiety, to keep ourselves sharp and on guard, mentally for tests and exams. If you do not feel that anxiety, my sympathy because you are dead. In two weeks, you are gonna pass that test! Why? Because you need that license! Good luck Young Lady
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