A
male
age
36-40,
*mootnezz
writes: I am hurt so badly and i want some advice. i sort of had acrush with this girl i like so much at my place of work. we like each other so much (or so i think). she has been nice to me in so many ways and vice-versa. i began to have feelings for her but did not want to rush so i asked you guys on dearcupid for some advice. i got 5 reactions, all telling me to take it slowly so i took the advice. not wanting to hurt her or scare her away by telling my feelings, i held on for some time. it was getting really difficult for me to cope with my books becos i was always thinking about her. so i decided to know how she also felt about me. i sent her a txt telling her how caring i thought she was and how much i liked her, after she did some really nice things for me when i was sick and did not come to work. considering how close we were and the respect we had for each other, i expected her to be candid with me if she didn't like my txt or probably tell me that she didn't have such feelings for me and only liked me. i would have taken it easily and respect her for it. now there is this friend of mine who also works in the same section with her at our work place, who i always talk to about my feelings for this girl, considering i had to talk to someone about it. he got close to the girl before me and for that matter knew certain things about her before me. just yesterday, he told me to be careful the way i relate with the girl. asking him why, he told me the girl hah told him about the txt i sent her and a made comments like; people are always trying to take advantage of her being nice to make passes at her. i don't know of others who have made passes at her except me so i felt that comment was clearly refering to me. i feel so betrayed and so belittled because i thought we were good friends enough for her to have confronted me directly, instead of discussing me with another guy. prior to hearing this, we met at work and her behaviour towards me was the same as always, even though she didn't mention the txt. i feel i should ask her about this but i don't want to betray my friend who told me. i am a person who does not hide the truth but i don't want to hurt my friend or the girl because i still love her. you girls should tell me probably why she did that and what i should do about it. remember i still have the same feelings for her.
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male
reader, smootnezz +, writes (25 February 2008):
smootnezz is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks rcn for answering me. you know, you could be right about my friend also being interested in her. he got to be friends with her first before me. somehow the girl became more enamoured with me after getting to know me and they were not that close as they used to be. however, because he is my friend, i did not hide my feelings for the girl from him. he has been supportive by telling me to take it slowly and stuff. but i did not think of the possibility of him being interested in her. what do you think i should do? do you think i would be doing the right thing if ask the girl whether she actaully said that? i would be waiting to hear from you again. once again, thanks.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (23 February 2008):
 After reading this, I think you are good friends. You should know, don't believe everything friends say about girls, or what they claim they have said.
If she really did say that, I believe her behavior at work would be different, don't you? People don't find offence to what someone says and keep the same way of being in their presense. Let me ask you something. How does your friend feel about her? Does he like her too? Could this be a competition with him? He wants her but isn't telling you about it because you're friends?
Unless you hear it directly from her, don't take what other people say always as full truth.
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