A
female
age
26-29,
*yra4us100
writes:I feel so alone right now, because my mom told the entire family that I masturbated. She was so mad at me, and I am in tears about this. I don't understand why she thinks that it's so wrong! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, zina  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 i thnk u should tell ur mom how mad u r about it. she had no rite to tell everyone. how can she expect u to tell her everything and trust her if she tells everything to other people. tell her and if she understands great!
A
female
reader, xxbaybeegal  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 My god, thats pretty sad that she told the whole family, what you need to tell your mum is how you feel about what she did. i mean how can you trust her to tell her anything by the way she is going. dont be ashamed of what you did cause nearly every1 does it, dont let it ruin the rest of your life. do something to forget about it all.
hope this helpsxx
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (27 October 2007):
 I think that was pretty heartless of your mum to do this, she should have took you to one side and spoke to you one to one, but to tell the family about it is out of order. You don't mention your age here, but anyway masurbating is nothing to be ashamed of, its something 99% of the population do, even if they don't admit to it.
Take care & good luck x
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A
female
reader, icecreamsandwiches  +, writes (27 October 2007):
Your mum really did the wrong thing in broadcasting this to the entire family. You really need to talk with her about how humiliated you are. If you're young, she's probably just upset that you're not a baby anymore and are showing an interest and curiosity in sex. But everyone has sex. It'a a basic human need like food, water and oxygen. Tell her you were just curious, you didn't realise she'd be so upset and that she could have kept it to herself. After all, how would she feel if you found out something sexual about her and you told the entire family about that? She'd be mortified! She definitely could've handled it better.
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A
female
reader, jodie +, writes (27 October 2007):
 how did ur mum find out and how old are you?????
dont be upset you'll find most people do it nowadays!
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (27 October 2007):
 you dont say how old you are or how your mum knows you masturbated but if you are young and she caught you or something then it was probably a shock to her. she is shocked and taken aback that her little girl is a sexual human being with needs, urges and desires.
you did nothing wrong. your mum handled it completely wrong and it was mean and manipulative to humiliate you like that. she has hurt you and let you down and to be honest i'd be very surprised if you ever trusted her again. fundamentally she may have completely changed your relationship with her forever.
thats not your fault though. everyone masturbates. anyone who says they dont is a liar. your mum was just trying to belittle and embarrass you and try to feel in control of you. just laugh it off and ignore her. she is acting very immaturely and really needs to grow up and understand you're human and you did something which is human nature to do. i mean for gods sake, you didnt kill anyone and anyway its nobodys business but yours.
i know its hard now and you feel like you want to die from embarrassment but in time this will just be a memory and something else will happen for the family to be talking about. it will all blow over soon
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): Your mom was probably upset about something else. She said it without thinking. Adults make mistakes, too. Let it pass. You can tell everyone privately that you think she was upset about something else you did. Which would probably be the truth. Try not to be angry. Parents can be under a lot of stress at times. I am sure the "rest of the family" already knows this, so don't go round with your head in the sand. Laugh it off. I know that sounds flippant, but it is really the best thing to do.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 October 2007):
 don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 October 2007):
don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 October 2007):
don't take it so hard. that was real evil of your mom to do. i have to tell you, i highly doubt (i know gross to think about) you mom, and the others who know haven't done it. it's not something that is really a rare event.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): I totally understand because something similar happened to me when I was 4 or 5. She said God girls didn't do that and said that satanic girls do that. We weren't religious but I did believed in God because I was attending a religious school so I felt very guilty. My mother's reaction (I heard her telling my aunts too) made me feel bad about my sexuality up until my adulthood believe it or not. She told my very controlling father and for years he thought that if I was taking too long in the shower it was because I was doing it. If I was surprised holding a stuffed animal while sleeping I was doing it.. That was extremely shameful and humilliating for me. At college I had the opportunity to take psychology of the sexuality and I learned those type of guilt trips our parents put us trough can deeply affect us in our future sexual life. As a christian I now understand it's not something God likes but it's nothing to feel ashamed of. It's a natural human tendency and a sin like every other one. You just have to try to maintain your sexuality in control. It's better if we don't do it at all if we are pursuing our sanctification before God. But don't feel ashamed. God made us sexual beings. Of course it's not something your mother wants to think about or see you doing. But sadly it happened and you can't bring back time. Don't worry everyone she told has already done it. They can't judge you.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (27 October 2007):
 Well that wasn't very nice of your Mom - maybe she was angry. Mom's do things without thinking sometimes. They have so much on their minds. It must be very hurtful though. Spend some time surfing the net, chatting with friends - or look through the archives on this website to help you remember you haven't done anything wrong. Look forward to the week ahead. Plan to meet your friends. Hopefully it'll soon be forgotten. Virtually everyone does it at some point - so it is nothing really - just like sneezing - a normal function. If you can talk about this with your friends and what your Mom did, might help you feel better. Take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): It's not wrong. Most people nowadays accept masturbation as a normal part of everyday life. She's probably done it too, but you shouldn't feel disheartened.
Try to make sure nobody finds out in the future though
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): I feel realy bad for you. Your Mom has severely over reacted. You did nothing wrong, in fact its normal. Don't think your Mom never masturbated, she's done that more then you and I'll bet on that. I think your Mom needs help. She needs to see a therapist about treating you like that. I could never do that to my kid,its a normal part of life and don't let anyone tell you different. I think you too should see a counseler, you probably already need to with a mother like that. Tell her I said she is a rotten cunt for that.
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