A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I've been going out with my bf for 2 weeks and we've become really close really quickly, and our relationship is pretty sexually intense you could say, although we haven't actually had sex yet.He says to me that he sees it as a failure if the girl doesn't come, and he hasn't made me yet, and really wants me to, and even asked me to make myself come if he couldn't, but i just couldn't do that either! i don't know what it is i like him soo much and he's very good, i just can't seem to get turned on at all, even if i try not to think about it and just enjoy it.I did "pleasure" myself quite a lot when i was younger, and do a lot more than my friends i think, do you think i could have become almost immune in a way to other touch or something? i really want to make him happy! any suggestions as to why you think i can't get turned on, let alone come?Cheers=)x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Masodistic Candy  +, writes (27 October 2007):
It's all about letting it build up. And keep in mind, not every woman comes. Different bodies respond to different things. Tell him different things you like to do, but be shy and discreet about it. Like you're sharing a dirty secret. This can add to the intensity on a mental level. Also, masturbating doesn't make you immune to anything...believe me. If anything it can make things more intense in the long run.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): Are you putting too much pressure on the situation? Thinking too much about it? Are you able to relax at all (and even show him what it is you like)?
I am assuming here that you can make yourself come. If not, then you'll need to start challenging his views about what successful sex involves. Coming isn't the be all and end all, after all.
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