A
male
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*ountry Bumpkin
writes:I’m so lonely this Christmas.I’m a 44-year-old guy living in The High Peak, Derbyshire, UK. I’m a nurse at the hospital in the next major town. I split from my fiancée 3 years ago and I’ve been on my own since. I’ve made sure that I’ll be at work all Christmas week because I can’t stand to see all the couples and families enjoying the season. I don’t know if it’s envy or I’m just feeling sorry for myself but the Christmas season makes me so depressed. This is what will happen on the 25th. My cat Fidgit will wake me up at around 9am and we will both have breakfast I will mooch around the house for a while because there won’t be any presents to open then I will perhaps have some lunch then go to work for 1:45pm. I finish at 9pm and by the time I get home there will be just enough time to try to eat something before going back to bed because I’ll be back at work for 7:30am boxing day. The next day I will do a 14-hour shift and so on.Please don’t get me wrong I am so grateful for what I have got, I know there are too many people in this world much worse off than me but I will be so pleased when the season is over. Every day that I’m on my own rips my heart out and Christmas just makes it worse. In most ways I am very lucky. I have my own house, a good job, a decent car and all the creature comforts a man could wish for. The one thing I’m missing is someone to share my life with. Since I can remember I have dreamed of meeting the love of my life and marrying her. The first bit happened but she left me after I asked her to marry me.I didn’t want this to turn into a sob story but I know it has done plus I don’t know why I’m posting it on this site. This is for lovers not losers. Anyway I just wanted to tell someone. I do genuinely wish everyone a very happy Christmas and the best New Year, I’m not a spiteful person, but I won’t be thinking about it because I’ll try to keep myself busy so I don’t get myself upset about it. Best wishes to everyone at Dear Cupid, I love the site, I read it regularly and have offered my advice several times. I don’t expect anyone to offer me any advice because how can you reply to a post like this. All I ask is that just one person takes the time to spare a thought for those of us who are unlucky to be alone every minute of every day.Mx
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at work, christmas, depressed Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Country Bumpkin +, writes (26 December 2006):
Country Bumpkin is verified as being by the original poster of the question The idea of going on holiday would normally be a great idea but unfortunately my job doesn't allow me to request leave over the Christmas and New Year periods. I have though considered going on holiday in the week or two weeks running up to Christmas. I thought that might change my mood a little and leave me better equipped to deal with the stress. I have already spoken with and old friend who has recently become single again and we are discussing the possibility of going away just before Christmas.
If I could I would like to thank everyone who has posted a reply to this. It has really been a help to know that there are genuine people out there who care about others. I really expected a certain about of post telling me that I'm selfish because that's the way I felt. I don't feel like that now. Thanks to you.
Thank you all.
M
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2006): as you find this time of year lonely why not go book a holiday, eg. go on a learn to ski week, i did and it was great fun. I met some people and had a great time. Or go somewhere warm like the canaries and soak up the sun on the beach. Then when you get home all the xmas fuss will be over. Just a suggestion.
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A
male
reader, Country Bumpkin +, writes (24 December 2006):
Country Bumpkin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Juliette,
I can see that you understand why I'd rather be at work than at home at the moment. I will be in touch for a chat. Thanks for listening.
M
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): I am from Canada and it has just started snowing.... we need nurses here by the way....you are not a loser at all....just someone who has had a bit of a rocky time. From reading your post it sounds like you have have made a routine which shields you from having to make some changes. As a nurse you have highly transferable skills. I know it is tough when a relationship breaks up but somewhere there is someone looking for you....make 2007 the year that you find her.....hang in there love xx00
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A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (24 December 2006):
 It is a sob story, but that doesn't mean it is justified. You are just being honest about how you feel and that is where sites like these really help you vent your feelings. Yes, there are always people much worse off than ourselves but that doesn't help when you have to make it through each day feeling isolated and alone. As a nurse you know you can fill your time using your skills helping and understanding others but that is no reason to not expect some personal happiness and time out from the stress of other people. As a fellow nurse I know my job has been therapeutic in helping me through some recent very difficult times, but even though we can be in a home with family around, it can still seem the loneliest place on Earth especially when those people are the ones causing great pain and stress. You are welcome to mail me directly if you want to 'talk' over Christmas as like you, I will be frequently online for just the distant company.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): I feel the same as you and I am sure there are many more out there too. I feel dreadfully lonely too and I have noticed that I have started wanting to stay at work because I have nothing to come home too. I live in a rural area and the last of my circle of friends moved away a month ago. They have all moved at least 200 miles away up north where property is cheaper and who can blame them? I make sure I go out socially but don't see the same people often enough to build up new friendships. I did have a special someone but we split up on Monday so I'm feeling really bad this Christmas too.
It does show you that you can have all the material comforts but at the end of the day the thing that people most crave is love, friendship, companionship, etc - all the things that money can't buy. I would suggest building up some friendships at work. Just try to get involved in as many activities that you like as possible and use that as a conversation piece to get things started with potential friends.
Make a promise to yourself that in 2007 you will put yourself out there as much as possible. I will be sparing a thought for you this Christmas time.
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