A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,A few months ago I found out my boyfriend had been naked webcamming for hours with other girls and sending pictures of himself to them. There were also very explicit photos of naked girls on his computer from these conversations in a secret folder.When I found out about this I was very angry, hurt, upset and couldnt understand why he had done this to me after all we had. After finding out, just after we had spoken on the phone I threw my phone with force across the room. Only to later find out that I had damaged his t.v, which now doesn't work. We have decided to get back together, even though there are trust issues and time after time, he keeps bringing up his t.v, even though his parents have bought him a new one and I really dont feel as though he even cares about his actions/hurting me? etc, but mostly about the t.v. I feel really upset that he keeps demanding things from me that I cannot afford. It really was an accident and if it was my possession and I had done something this bad to him, I would let it go. Plus, I would feel really guilty for even asking, considering the situation.I don't have the money to pay for the t.v and I have lost both of my parents so I cannot ask them.Am I wrong in feeling like this? Yes, I have broken something that was not mine and that was wrong. The right thing to do would be to replace it, but given the way he has treated me in the past, and still continues to treat me, why should I do this? Some opinions please? Kat
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (29 June 2012):
 I agree this man is a dirty scumbag worthy of being dumped immediately - if not sooner.
The OP certainly should NOT have lost it to the extent that she threw her phone at his television - next time, OP tell the person what you think of their despicable behavior aka read 'em the riot act - and then walk away. Literally. leave the room.
The man's PARENTS paid to get him a new TV. They didn't HAVE to, they CHOSE to. In view of this I don't see why the OP should be expected to pay for the broken set - even if she could afford to, which she can't.
She DOES owe him an apology and acknowledgment that she was wrong to destroy it (and anyway, how much of an accident was it really? Wouldn't you think that throwing a phone evidently with a certain amount of force - might NOT break it?) she was very angry and wanted to "punish" him for his admittedly atrocious, stinky behavior. So yes, OP let him know what you did was wrong - on this ONE SINGLE issue - and refuse to offer any money!!
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (29 June 2012):
You should pay for the TV and dump him. He cheated on you so you shouldn't give him a second chance.
However, the fact he cheated on you doesn't mean you are not responsible for the TV, and the way he treats you is irrelevant to the fact that you need to make good the damage. That is a separate issue. Pay for the TV so that you have fulfilled your responsibility and can hold your head high. The circumstances of the break are neither here nor there, you need to replace it because you broke it.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (28 June 2012):
to hell with his stupid TV.... he is distracting from the real issues here like the fact that he is a cheat! dont even think of paying him back for it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): I am sorry, but I disagree with most of the other's here. I do agree he is a scumbag and you should dump him. I know how much it hurts when you find out the person you love has cheated on you, but that doesn't mean that you can throw a tantrum and start throwing things and break someone else's belongings, and get away with not paying for it. If you couldn't afford to pay for anything you break, you don't throw things in the first place. His horrible actions does not excuse your responsibility to do the right thing, and the right thing is to pay for the tv. You should pay him back for the tv, you broke it, the reason why you were angry at the time makes no difference at all. I am sorry that you were hurt and that he cheated on you, it's a horrible thing to have to go through, I understand that you didn't intend to break the tv, but the fact is you did break it.Now you have a responsibility to pay for it. It is not his parents place to have to replace something that you broke.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Hi
Explain to me why you are with him?
He did wrong,very wrong, you reacted. Thats perfectly normal. Hes trying to shift the focus to you and off him being a seedy no good boyfriend
Dump him, find somebody who DOESN'T webcam. THAT is what the issue was,not his stupid TV.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Sorry, I see it slightly differently from the other posters. Yes, your bf is a scumbag, a weasel, and a pig - the punishment for his bad behaviour is DUMPING him, not damaging his personal belongings.
Yes, he probably does not care so much about the Tv and is bringing that up to be morally even with you. Again, you can dump him for that , but you should anyway offer to pay for what you have broken. It was an accident ?- not exactly, it would have been an accident if you had tripped in your heels and fallen onto the Tv, but if you start throwing solid objects inside a room, you KNOW you have a high possibility of breaking stuff . Phones are not made for being thrown , I understand that you were e upset, yet it's not MANDATORY, or automatic, throwing objects when you are upset, there are tons of people who in your shoes would have controlled their emotions better and NOT thrown stuff ! If you have a problem with anger management, why does yur bf has to give up to his belongins because of that ?
"The right thing to do would be to replace it ". correct. I think your bf is a cad, and a nasty piece of work, - but when you damage someone's property they owner of the damaged object has any right to compensation regardless of his moral character and past wrongdoings. What,if you break a mirror in a good person's house you pay it back, if you break a mirror in a bad person's house you don't ?...
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 June 2012):
Some boyfriend!! What on earth made you decide you get back together with such a jerk?!
His parents bought him a new television, so although you shouldn't have thrown the phone at the old one and broken it, it was an accident. I don't see that you know him anything except an apology - "Look, I apologize for breaking your TV, but it was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose." Then dump him.
He doesn't deserve you and you don't need such a travesty (poor excuse) for a boyfriend.......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): "I feel really upset that he keeps demanding things from me that I cannot afford. It really was an accident and if it was my possession and I had done something this bad to him, I would let it go. Plus, I would feel really guilty for even asking, considering the situation."Like any gutter-crawling sewer-dwelling scumbag, boyfriend is willing to do or say whatever it takes to find a way to blame you for a situation that is entirely HIS fault due to his own disgusting, abhorrent, reprehensible, despicable, piggish behavior; and he is willing to do so no matter what the emotional and financial cost to you. "Am I wrong in feeling like this? Yes, I have broken something that was not mine and that was wrong. The right thing to do would be to replace it, but given the way he has treated me in the past, and still continues to treat me, why should I do this? Some opinions please?"No, you're not wrong to feel the way you do, any reasonable person would feel the same way. Unfortunately, given that your throwing your phone with enough force to break his TV was wrong, and given that boyfriend's treatment of you is absolutely inexcusable bordering on the sub-human, only solution is to enter into signed payment agreement for TV and then dump his sorry ass for good while continuing to honor your agreement (making sure you always get a signed receipt for each payment) because that is the right thing to do. I feel so sorry for you, don't let this pig drag you down any further, you need to pay off the TV as soon as you can so you can be completely free of him without him holding your "debt" over your head. You deserve much, much better. Good luck and best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): Why did you get back together with him? My honest response is that he is not a good guy to be with. You are choosing to forgive him for essentially cheating on you! Don't think of it as not cheating- it is. He didn't love you or care about you enough to restrict sexual contact,a very intimate and loving thing, with just you, and unfortunately you can't change him unless he really wants to change. Sounds to me like he's a compulsive masturbator to porn and he DOESN'T want to ever chane! Now about the TV, I can see why you feel bad, but he's a cruel guy to punish you by making you buy something you can't. Punishing you? He cheated ion you via cybersex and he's making YOU feel guilty for being heartbroken? To be honest, the fact that you got back with him is showing him that it wasn't THAT bad to cheat on you and that it is forgivable, and shoot he might be doing it even when you don't know it. He wants to get excited by 2D woman than a 3D one? I'd say lose him. The TV part is tricky. If he were a true gentleman, he would've forgiven you and realized breaking a TV on ACCIDENT is far less bad that being disloyal on purpose! However, since he isn't a gentleman and is clearly just using you now for materialism, this guy is nuts! I guess maybe try negotiating a way to get him a cheaper TV or better yet, try to get that one fixed because it might be cheaper than a new one. Sweetheart, he's sick and to be honest, whatever you see in him isn't truly there or rather, whatever you see in him that's good is not good enough considering there's that much bad mixed in. It's like finding a razor blade in your lollipop! Oh it may taste good but are you really gonna eat it after finding out how it's going to hurt you if you keep sucking? Well, this is your warning that he's a lousy guy, and if you keep eating that lollipop (oh good lord why'd I have to choose a metaphor pervs can deconstruct? LMAO!) the razor will cut you. Try to get a TV to clear your conscience that's REASONABLY PRICED then boot it! Don't talk to that sicko ever again!
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A
male
reader, token +, writes (27 June 2012):
i know what he is doing because i would do the same thing...(not proud of it). he needs something to dangle over your head to make him appear to be the victum of the situation. he doesnt care about the tv at all i bet he just brings it up so it will be "even" even though its not and he is a pig and u shouldnt be with him.
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