A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf is a huge extrovert and loves to talk to people and start conversation with anyone. He's very charming and I think he also likes getting attention from women in particular. So in social settings it's not unusual for him to gravitate towards women rather than men. I mean he talks to guys too but I think seeing women enjoying his conversation probably strokes his ego. We've been dating a year and although I know that's how he is, sometimes it annoys me because I feel somewhat put to the side. We went out recently with friends of mine and i felt like he was a little overbearing with everyone and also talking quite a bit with the wife of my co-worker. It got me a little upset which caused me to shut down a little towards him. He still has no clue why I was acting strange and asked a few times if he was too talkative. I put the blame on drinking too much because I'm scared that if I tell him how I feel its going to make things worse. He already thinks I'm jealous so this will not help. What should I do? Is the issue just that i'm more of an introvert and he's a huge extrovert? I try to be cool but somehow it keeps annoying me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): Hi, im the original poster. The difficult thing for me when i join is that the are women don't necessarily want to know me. They like him because he is charming and I don't want to feel like I have to make them like me too. Usually they only have eyes for me.
It's tough because I get in a mood because it feels like he's all about everyone else but me. i don't want to complain and look like I'm needy &I want him to only care about me but there must be a happy medium. Should I tell him that sometimes he's overdoing it like he's trying too hard? I heard him tell one girl that he liked something I know he doesn't really like. i know he wasn't trying to hit on her because she is married but I feel like he just wants everyone to like him and will spend the evening amusing everyone and leaving me on my own.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Well, it sounds like jealousy that's caused by the fact you don't feel as comfortable and outgoing as he does to just strike a conversation with anyone anywhere so you may feel personally frustrated about it, and that you're his girlfriend and when he goes out with you, you feel its disrespectful for him to just drift off and start a conversation with someone else (More to the point females).Unfortunately that is naturally how he is, I don't imagine he means any harm by it and there's not much you can nor should do to try and change that. But maybe you could try to join in when he strikes a conversation with others.You two are a reflection of me and my girlfriend except its me that's the quieter one and my girlfriend is the social junkie.I don't get jealous because if she's having fun then that's all that matters, (she even dances around/with guys in night clubs, I don't mind though because its my fault I don't feel confident enough to do that otherwise it would be me she dance's with, and I also know she won't allow things to go any further than that with anyone). I do however find myself getting frustrated with myself, because I wish I felt that confident and join in and have a good time, but everyone is different... all I suggest is you try to join in rather than go in a mood with him about it and blame him for who he is. I really need to do the same in my situation to be honest because sitting there miserable all night defeats the object of letting your hair down and you may as well stay at home lol.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 July 2012):
Hi there. There is another option here.
Why not just the two of you go out together, not in groups.
You could mention to him, that you would rather just go out - you and him.
And that you are not that into crowds etc., that you would just like to enjoy his company.
And see what he says.
Otherwise, you could say to him that if he wants to go out in a crowd environment, well that's okay, but he can go alone.
Because it doesn't interest you at all.
And that you would rather prefer to stay at home, and you will see him when it's just the two of you.
And that's fair.
Why go somewhere, that you do not enjoy?
That way, he can enjoy the attention from females, and whoever else talks to him, and you can enjoy a quiet evening at home.
There's no point in you being unhappy, is there?
This way, he gets to enjoy what he likes, and so do you.
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