A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for a little over a year now with my boyfriend and I am questioning whether or not i want to continue this relationship because there hasn't been any sexual intimacy for 4 months and that is a big deal for me personally. I have somewhat talked to him about this and he says he is not a very sexually driven person and just doesn't really feel the need for it. When we have had sex there is absolutely no foreplay of any kind because he said he is not into that either but i am.. i feel confused because i do love him i know i can trust him but im unsure what to do about our sex life because i feel like anything i say will be pressuring him do do things he does not want to do.. can you please help me figure this out? Thank you,Jackie
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 I'd say, let it go. You love him, but love is also made of a very important physical side,not just of thoughts words and feelings. And when that side is missing , particularly at such a young age, the relationship is gonna inevitably be unhealthy and unbalanced.
Personally I am very suspicious of young men that just " are not that much into sex ". If I were in your shoes, I'd probably think he is a closeted gay, or he has some physical ailment which he does not want to disclose, or simply that he is not attracted to me . And if my Grandmother were in your shoes, she would surely comment " Hen who does not peck, has pecked already " ,questioning his loyalty to you.
But even accepting his explanation as true- that he is a person who does not need to express his love physically- well then he is not the right person for you, since you are instead someone who values intimacy and sensuality. You 'll have a harder time changing him into a kind of man that he is not, rather than finding someone else who can love you the way is right for you.
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